


When I Was a Boy

by toxic_corn



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M, Kid Fic, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-14
Updated: 2006-10-14
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9259082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxic_corn/pseuds/toxic_corn
Summary: The sequel to "Songs from a Firefly." In which Jamey gets center stage since Nettie took over the last story.  Anyway, here's the story of Jayne and River's son from cradle to adulthood.





	1. Sweet Baby James

**Author's Note:**

> It's rated G for now but it gets a little racy later. I'll warn you.

Jayne damn near wore a path in the floor outside the infirmary. No matter how much Kaylee tried to cajole him into sitting down, he kept right on pacing, staring at the covered windows. He couldn’t stand the thought of his River girl in there, in pain all because of him.

 

He’d originally started out beside her, holding her hand and helping her through that weird breathing they’d learned together but the second she cried out in pain, he’d punched the Doc and been sent outside.

 

Now his brother-in-law had to deliver Jayne’s child with a black eye and Jayne wasn’t even going to be able to see it.

 

Several hours passed and Mal was trying to get him to go lay down, try to get some sleep. No way in ruttin’ hell was Jayne gonna leave his baby girl in there by herself. ‘Sides, it was useless trying to sleep without her, he’d gotten used to the feel of her pressed against his back or sprawled across his chest, breathing softly.

 

A sudden blood-curdling shriek from River sent him tearing for the door. It took Mal, Wash, the Shepherd, Inara, and a very pregnant Zoe to keep him from barreling into the infirmary.

 

“Lemme go!” Jayne snarled, struggling to free himself. “My girl’s in there!!”

 

“Best you stay right here, Jayne,” Mal said. “Doc’s going to need at least one functioning eye to get through this.”

 

River’s cries tapered off and were replaced by much higher ones from the child. _His_ child.

 

When Simon opened the door, the others let Jayne free and he hurried in to stand by his wife’s side.

 

“We got a boy or girl?” Jayne asked. River had known all along which they were having, but Jayne wanted to be surprised and River had respected that.

 

Her smile was proud but tired. “A boy. Come meet him, Jayne.”

 

Feeling almost shy, Jayne crept forwards and stared down at the little lump in River’s arms. His boy was red, wrinkled, and had a weird bit of fringe standing up on his head.

 

He was beautiful.

 

“This is your daddy,” River told the baby, who looked up at her blearily. “He’s going to hold you, now.”

 

“Is it safe?” Jayne asked. “I mean, he’s all tiny and I don’t wanna break ‘im or nothin’.”

 

Simon peeked his head in. “It’ll be fine. Just wash your hands, Jayne.”

 

Jayne did so and then accepted his son carefully. He stared down at the child’s tired face and found himself grinning. “Hi, James.”

 

“You’ve named him for me?” River asked, sounding more amused than angry.

 

“Uh, see… When I was little, when folks met me the first time, they always misheard my Ma and thought my name was James. I kinda liked it for awhile, until someone got to correctin’ ‘em.” Jayne shrugged, embarrassed. “I told myself that if I ever had a boy, I’d name ‘im James, the name I always wanted.”

 

“James,” River said, musing. “One who supplants. James taking the place of Jayne.” She smiled a little. “Only metaphorically. I’ll love both of my men equally.”

 

Jayne handed the baby back to River, carefully placing him in her arms. “He still needs a middle name.”

 

“Simon.”

 

“No.” Jayne scowled.

 

“You chose the first name, it’s only fair I choose the second!”

 

“We ain’t namin’ the baby after your brother and that’s final.”

 

River narrowed her eyes. “I suppose James will be an only child, then.”

 

It took Jayne a moment to understand her meaning. “Hey, now, girl. That ain’t fair.”

 

“Simon’s good enough to bring your child into this world but not good enough to name the child after him?!”

 

“I-” Jayne took one look at the determined look on her face and gave up. “Fine. James Simon Cobb it is. I think that double ‘s’ is awkward as hell, though.”

 

“Don’t care,” River said, nuzzling a kiss onto James’ cheek. “He’ll be Jamey, anyway. Jamey Simon and no awkward double ‘s.’”

 

“Guess that works. Whaddya say, Jamey?”

 

But Jamey was asleep, exhausted after his long journey.


	2. Breathing

Wash greeted them with a sober expression on his face when they came back from the first successful job they'd had in weeks. Jayne felt a premonitory chill.

 

“What is it?” Mal asked, automatically on alert.

 

“Jayne, you got a wave from home. I think it’s pretty important.”

 

Worry churned inside his gut and Jayne practically flew up the stairs to the cockpit. The first thing he thought of was River’s pregnancy. Something went wrong, he just knew it. He never shoulda left her and Jamey on land, no matter what his ma threatened him with.

 

He smiled humorlessly to find that the wave was from Ma. “What’s the trouble?”

 

“You need to get your pi gu back home, boy,” she said, shortly. “And bring that doctor brother-in-law o’ yers.”

 

“Is it River? Ma, is the baby okay?” 

 

His ma hesitated. “It ain’t the baby. It’s… Jayne, it’s Jamey.”

 

Jayne dropped into the pilot’s chair. “My boy?”

 

“There’s this super flu goin’ around attacking the littl’uns. The Bakers lost their youngest girls and the lawman here lost his son just this morning.” Ma took a deep breath. “And our little Jamey…”

 

An arm curled around his ma’s shoulders and River stepped into frame, her face flushed from crying. “Jayne?”

 

“Riv, baby, I’m on my way,” Jayne swore. 

 

“Hurry,” River pleaded and disconnected.

 

Taking a shuddering breath, Jayne spun around. “Wash! Can-” He stopped when he saw the pilot already standing in the doorway, understanding in his eyes.

 

“Yes.” Wash stepped around him and started changing their course to Jayne’s home world.

~*~

Simon had done all he could and now all that was left to do was to wait. Ma wanted to stay but Jayne could see how exhausted she was from looking after River through the whole mess, so he sent her on home. She still resisted but he noticed the relief on her face as she went out the door. The doctor was here and that was the only thing that made leaving feel all right to her.

 

River was another story. It was plain she hadn’t slept in days but she fought him on going to bed. It wasn’t until he told her it wasn’t fair to the baby inside her to not be taking good care of herself that she went and curled up in their bed. She glared at him all the while and he almost felt guilty until he reminded himself that he was just doing what was best for her and their unborn child.

 

Now it was late. Wee hours of the morning late. Everyone else was asleep, Simon and Kaylee in the spare room that was gonna be the baby’s room, Mal out on the couch, and the others bunking at his Ma’s house. Only Jayne was awake.

 

He sat outside Jamey’s opened door, just in the doorway, listening to his son breathe. Every inhale and exhale settled Jayne’s nerves. They meant his boy was still in this world and wasn’t going anyplace.

 

His eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. His chin had just hit his chest when a small whimper from the bed snapped him awake.

 

“Jamey?” he whispered. He got up and shuffled over to the bed, dropping to his knees beside it.

 

His tiny, three year old son had kicked his covers off and was flushed, his brow furrowed in his sleep. Again, he whimpered.

 

“Shhh.” Jayne reached out and smoothed Jamey’s tangled curls back off his forehead. “Shhh, Papa’s here. Papa’s here.”

 

The boy seemed to relax and continued sleeping. Jayne kept on stroking his hair and started humming a song his ma always sang to him when he was a sprout and not feeling too good.

 

Eventually, Jayne dropped off himself, resting his head on the little mattress, careful to keep a hand on Jamey’s slowly rising and falling chest.

~*~

“You’re home!”

 

Jayne stirred and mumbled something, burrowing his head further into the mattress.

 

A little hand patted his shoulder. “Papadaddy?”

 

At the sound of the high, squeaky voice, Jayne instantly came awake and sat up to find his boy, his reason for being smiling sweetly at him.

 

“Hi, Papadaddy. Why you home? Are you going to take us to the black?” Jamey looked so hopeful that Jayne laughed, trying to blink back the tears stinging his eyes.

 

“You were real sick, Baby J.” Jayne reached out a hand and felt the boy’s forehead. Still a little warm, but nowhere near as molten as he’d been yesterday. He noticed the sheets were soaked and realized that Jamey must’ve sweat the fever out while they slept. “Your uncle had to come and look after you.”

 

Jamey’s eyes lit up. “Uncle Simon’s here?? And Aunt Kaylee?!”

 

“The whole gang. Everybody’s been worried about you, boy.”

 

“I’m sorry.” He looked guilty and Jayne laughed again, leaning forward to kiss his son’s nose. He snuggled close to Jayne and happily Jayne wrapped his arms around him and tugged him into his lap.

 

“Don’t you fret, you didn’t mean ta worry nobody. You feelin’ a little better?”

 

“A little. I feel kinda achey.” 

 

“Are ya hungry any?”

 

Jamey’s tummy growled and he started to giggle, his sweet laughter a relief to Jayne.

 

“Take that as a yeah.” Jayne scooped Jamey up. “Let’s get ya some toast. Then _phoo_ , get ya in a bath. Yer a little ripe.”

 

Jamey just kept giggling and Jayne tickled under his chin to keep the sound up.

 

“First let’s go see yer ma. She’s gonna be thrilled ta pieces ta see yer okay.”

 

For the first time in over twenty-four hours, Jayne could breathe easy when River came awake and the life returned to her eyes at the sight of their son beaming and reaching a hand out to her.

 

“It’s toast time, Mama!”


	3. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

They didn’t have much time before they had to meet Mal and the others. River had packed the kids’ stuff last night before their uh, celebration so there wasn’t much to do on that score. He’d stopped the post for the summer, having it relocated to Ma’s. He’d been packed for awhile now so they were fine there.

 

Looked like they were ready to-

 

Jayne patted his pocket.

 

_Ruttin’ hell._ His grandfather’s watch was gone. Sure, the damn thing didn’t work but Gramps had given it to him the day before he’d kicked and it had sentimental value. He didn’t go no place without it.

 

“River, you seen my watch anywhere?” Jayne asked, looking through the bedside table.

 

“No,” she said, not looking up from changing Nettie’s diaper. “Try one of your bags.”

 

“Good idea,” he said and went out to the living room where Jamey was fiddling with some whatsits on the carpet. He didn’t really pay any mind since the boy was always tinkering with something and started going through his bags, cursing quietly. No watch.

 

“Hey, Jamey?” he said, knowing he was really stretching. “You seen my watch?”

 

“Yup, I have it right here.”

 

Jayne’s head snapped up and he saw the whatsit Jamey was fiddling with was none other than his priceless, irreplaceable watch. Its insides were strewn all over the carpet and Jamey was holding it up with a big damn grin on his face.

 

“ _What the hell did you do_?” Jayne bellowed and snatched the watch out of the boy’s hand. Just like that, Jamey’s grin fell and tears filled his eyes. Normally the sight nearly broke Jayne’s heart but now he was too pissed off to care much. “I told ya time ‘n time again t’ leave my stuff alone! Do I monkey with the stuff ya got in yer room?!”

 

“No, sir,” Jamey said, chin quivering. “I’m sorry, I was only-”

 

“Only what?! My grampa gave me this watch, I told ya that! It’s special t’ me and I don’t got any other grampas to keel over and gimmie their watches, so I don’t need you breakin-” All this time, Jayne had been shaking the watch near his head, to emphasize his point when a strange sound caught his attention.

 

The watch was ticking.

 

He looked at it, completely dumbfounded.

 

“I was only fixin’ it,” Jamey said, his tears spilling. “It was s’posed ta be a surprise for you.”

 

Jayne rubbed his face with his hand. “Aw, Jamey, I-” What the hell was he supposed to say? Here his son was trying to do something nice and Jayne had to give him hell. With that kind of negative reinforcement, he’d be surprised if Jamey did a good deed ever again. “I’m sorry, Baby J. I didn’t know.”

 

Jamey sniffled and started picking up the watch pieces, not looking at him.

 

“You did a good job, here. Mr. O’Toole in town couldn’t even fix this.” But he could see it was too little too late for Jamey and the boy quietly dropped the cogs and wheels into Jayne’s hand before leaving the room.

~*~

They’d just taken off and Jayne found River in their bunk, reading a story to Nettie and Jamey. All three of them looked up when he walked in, and Nettie was the only one who seemed happy to see him.

 

“Jamey. C’mere.”

 

The boy tucked his head under River’s chin. “Ma’s readin’ us a story.”

 

“I know, but she can read ya a story any ol’ time. I wanna show ya somethin’.”

 

“Go on, Jamey,” River said softly.

 

Reluctantly, the boy got up and followed Jayne up the ladder.

 

“Where we goin’?”

 

“You’ll see.”

 

Jamey looked confused the whole way to the engine room. Kaylee grinned when they walked in.

 

“Hey, you two!” she said. “What’s up?”

 

Jayne grasped Jamey by the shoulder and pushed him forwards. “Kaylee, I want ya to show him everything you know about the engine. The boy’s got smarts for machines like you do.”

 

Kaylee looked excited by the idea of passing on her knowledge. “Sure! C’mon over here Jamey and meet Serenity!”

 

Jamey grinned and looked up at Jayne. “Thanks, Papa.”

 

Jayne cleared his throat. “Well, go on ‘n learn somethin’.”

 

Before he left, Kaylee watched from the corner of her eye as Jayne puffed up with pride and smiled to herself.


	4. Blue Christmas

“It’s not really Christmas,” Nettie said, munching her toast.

 

“No,” Nova agreed. “Christmas falls on December twenty-fifth and today’s only the seventeenth.”

 

Jamey grinned at his literal cousin as Nettie rolled her eyes.

 

“No, I mean, it’s not snowing so it’s not _really_ Christmas.”

 

Nova frowned. “Weather doesn’t affect the calendar at all. Snowing or not, December twenty-fifth will still come to pass, and that’s always Christmas.”

 

“You don’t get it,” Nettie said with a sigh.

 

The older kids knew what Nettie meant and exchanged looks over the breakfast table. All of them had grown up on planets where winter brought big, fat fluffy snowflakes around Christmas time and here they all were on a desert planet, waiting for their parents to show up for the holiday. It was still all so new, though they’d been living there since September.

 

Shepherd Book entered the room just then. “Who’s ready to start decorating the tree?”

 

Nettie, Nova, and Ben all leaped out of their chairs and tore from the room, making the shepherd chuckle. “No one? All right, then, I guess I can just pitch it out.”

 

“ _Shepherd_!”

 

Jamey and Lady cleared the table, Jamey glancing out the window every few seconds or so.

 

“They’re not going to be here, yet,” Lady said, her tone not unkind. “Mom’s last wave said they’d be here the twenty-third at the earliest.”

 

Embarrassed at having been caught out, Jamey blushed. “I wasn’t lookin’ for them,” he lied. “I was wonderin’ if it was gonna snow.”

 

“You know it ain’t.” Lady gave him a sad smile and dumped the dishes into the sink for David and Vee to wash. “Let’s go see that tree.”

 

They went out into the living room where the other kids were gathered. Shepherd Book had had an artificial tree sent to them a few days ago just for Christmas. Now he was stringing the lights around it while Nova and Ben hung tinsel, Vee and Nettie hung the ornaments, and David hung the stockings along the fireplace mantle.

 

The atmosphere was so nice and homey that it almost made Jamey forget that Ma and Pop weren’t there. He grabbed a wreath and went outside to put it on the door, all the while glancing over his shoulder. Zoe had said she _thought_ they weren’t going to make it until the twenty-third but she could’ve been wrong.

 

He got to thinking about Gramma Cobb’s gingerbread and Uncle Mattie dressing up like Santa and how that fooled his stupid cousin Andy every year and Ma reading them “The Night Before Christmas” and had to stay outside a little while because some dust flew into his eyes.

 

When he was sure it was all out, he went back inside just in time to see Shepherd Book plug in the tree. The colorful lights blinked on and they all oooh-ed and aaaah-ed.

 

“It’s beautiful!” Nova said, eyes sparkling.

 

“It ain’t as good as a real tree,” Vee said. “But it’s not too bad.”

 

Shepherd Book started sifting through one of the boxes and pulled out an angel. “Who wants to put this on top?”

 

“Me!” Nettie bounced on her toes, hand in the air. “I always put the angel on _our_ tree; Daddy lifts me up so I can reach.” Suddenly her face fell and she looked down at her feet.

 

“Well, you can put the angel up, Nettie.” Shepherd Book handed her the ornament. 

 

Jamey stepped forward. “I’ll help ya up, mei mei.” He knelt down so she could climb onto his shoulders. He wasn’t tall and strong like Pop yet and couldn’t just lift her.

 

“Careful,” the shepherd said, nervously. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

 

“And don’t knock the tree over,” Vee added.

 

Even on Jamey’s shoulders, Nettie still had to reach a little and she plopped the angel on top. It looked a little crooked but not even Vee commented on that fact. They all just stood back and admired their work.

 

“I wish today was the twenty-third,” David finally said.

 

Everyone nodded in agreement and for a second, Jamey thought that the dust had settled in his eye again.

 

“How about we make some paper snowflakes?” Shepherd Book asked, smiling big.

~*~

That night, the shepherd made a big fire and they all put on their pajamas and drank hot cocoa around the hearth. Jamey had been surprised at how cold the desert got at night. At some point they all got giggly, tossing marshmallows at each other so they were distracted when there was a thud at the door.

 

“What was that?” Nova squeaked.

 

“Burglars?” Ben asked, looking worried.

 

“Oh yeah, cuz burglars always _knock_ ,” Vee said.

 

“Why don’t you go look if you’re so brave?” Lady said, glaring at Vee.

 

“Why don’t _you_?”

 

“Children,” Shepherd Book gently reprimanded them. “I’ll go see who it is. It’s probably Jeb, he told me he’d be bringing over some fruitcake his mother sent him.”

 

David made a face. “That’s okay, he can keep it.”

 

“Our uncle Horace says he used fruitcake as a foundation for his new basement,” Ben said.

 

Nova looked skeptical. “I don’t think that would make a very good-”

 

“It’s a joke, Nova.”

 

The shepherd had reached the door and threw it open. A big, familiar figure wearing an orange poof ball hat and holding a huge sack stumbled into the room.

 

“Some fat guy in a red suit tol’ me these presents were for the good boys ‘n girls who lived here. Judgin’ by all this fussin’ he musta had it all wrong. I bet these go to some kids from the Core.”

 

“DADDY!” Nettie ran to their pop and hopped into his opened arms. 

 

“Hey, little bit.” Pop cuddled her for a second and then looked up at Jamey, grinning. “What, you’re nine years old and too big to be huggin’ your pa already?”

 

Jamey shook off his surprise and ran over, throwing his arms around Pop’s middle as he got his hair ruffled. 

 

“Hello!” Uncle Simon’s voice called and Nova and David stampeded over to jump on him, the thud that resounded a moment later Jamey took to mean they’d actually managed to knock him over.

 

“I thought you all were supposed to be here the twenty-third!” the shepherd said, looking pleased and like he knew what was going to happen all along. Jamey grinned. The old dog.

 

Wash came in next. “What, and miss the looks on their faces when we show up by surprise?” He held his arms out and had them automatically filled with Lady, Vee, and Ben. “This is way better than if we’d been expected.”

 

Aunt Kaylee came in next with baby Anna on her hip. “The boys were so excited they ran the whole way here from the ship,” she said, beaming as David peeled himself off of Uncle Simon and ran to her.

 

Cap came in after, and got some hugs from Lady and Nettie. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as funny as the doc and Wash havin’ a slap fight over who goes in next.”

 

Zoe, Inara, and Ma came in then, all laughing. 

 

“I think Wash was more surprised than injured when Simon kicked him,” Inara said.

 

“Yes, that’s it, I was surprised,” Wash said, pointing at her. “Pure surprise.”

 

“I must have imagined you yelping then,” Simon snapped back.

 

“You have quite the imagination, doc, it doesn’t surprise me any.”

 

Jamey missed most of this and sort of regretted it over the years when one of the other kids inevitably brought it up each Christmas. He tuned out everything when his mother came in the door.

 

She went straight to him and Jamey buried his face in her hair, hugging her tight. It wasn’t dust in his eyes this time.

 

“I looked out for you all day,” he whispered in her ear.

 

She ran a hand through his curls and kissed his cheek. “You must’ve heard us thinking about you.”

 

He grinned at her as he heard Pop loudly announce that he’d brought Gramma’s gingerbread along with him.

 

_Now_ it was Christmas, even without the snow.


	5. Let's Hear it for the Boy

“Here they come, get ready!” Gramma Cobb hobbled as fast as she could to the piano and practically leapt onto the bench, where she started to pound out notes.

 

Ma and Pop walked in the door, hand in hand. “What-”

 

“ _Good day, sunshine_ ,” Jamey and Nettie sang together. “ _I need to laugh, and when the sun is out, I’ve got something I can laugh about. I feel good, in a special way, I’m in love and it’s a sunny day, Good day sunshine!_ ”

 

Normally, Nettie was the one with the musical gift. Jamey could play guitar some and he sang in choir but whenever he sang with Nettie, everyone else would stop what they were doing to listen. Shepherd Book said that their kind of harmony was possible because they were blood relations. All he knew was that whenever he and Nettie sang together, their parents would melt right before their eyes.

 

So this song was the perfect anniversary gift for them.

 

“ _Good day, sunshine_ ,” they continued and watched as Ma pressed her head to Pop’s shoulder, a dreamy smile on her face.

 

“AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” 

 

Gramma Cobb’s piano-playing came to a halt.

 

“AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Andy Cobb came tearing into the room, panting, a grin on his stupid face. “Didja hear that? Somethin’s got all the dogs nearby howlin’! Wonder what it could be.”

 

Nettie scowled. “You’re ruining our song!”

 

“Ya did that yerself, Wettie Nettie.” Andy stuck out his tongue.

 

“You shut up!” Nettie balled up her fists but Jamey quickly grabbed her arm.

 

“Happy Anniversary,” he said to Ma and Pop. They stopped glaring at Andy themselves and came forward to give him and Nettie hugs, ignoring Andy as he made loud gagging noises.

~*~

“I wish David and Nova could’ve come with us,” Nettie said, tossing a horseshoe. It missed its mark and landed with a muffled _THUNK_ as it hit the ground. “Then we could team up and ignore Andy.”

 

“You and me can team up to ignore Andy,” Jamey pointed out, tossing his own horseshoe. It hit the metal peg in the ground with a clang. “Besides, if they were here, Nova would go questioning him when he starts to gettin’ all know-it-all-y and David’s too nice to let us ignore him.”

 

“Okay, then how about Lady, Vee, and Ben?”

 

“Vee would kill him.”

 

“That’s my point.”

 

Jamey laughed. “Well, we’re doin’ fine so far. It’s been, what, fifteen minutes since we last saw him?”

 

“Gramma says you have to let me play!”

 

Nettie groaned. “Oh, great.”

 

Andy Cobb marched over, jaw set aggressively, clearly looking for a fight. Jamey could never really understand why his cousin was so antagonistic. When he was littler, he’d asked his parents why. Pop said it was because Andy had been dropped on his head as a baby and Ma said that Andy didn’t like competition for Gramma Cobb’s attention, since he and his sister Helen and Uncle Mattie and Aunt Cora lived closer to her house and got to see her more often than Jamey and Nettie.

 

“We were just finishing up,” Nettie said. “We don’t wanna play anymore.”

 

“Huh _uh_! You just came out here, you ain’t done yet!” Andy loomed closer to Nettie, nostrils flaring. “I’m gonna tell Gramma if you don’t let me play.”

 

Nettie tossed her head, narrowing her eyes. “We’re _not_ keeping you from playing. We’re just not gonna play with you.”

 

“You’re an ugly little bitch,” Andy snarled.

 

Jamey had been watching the two with amusement but stepped forward, using his considerable height to intimidate his cousin. “You don’t wanna be sayin’ anything like that again.”

 

For a second Andy looked frightened, then he smirked. “You do anything ‘n I’ll tell Gramma.”

 

“Why do ya need an eighty year old lady t’ fight yer battles for ya, _Andrew_?” Jamey said. “Besides, all I said was you don’t wanna be callin’ my sister a bitch again.”

 

“Why dontcha just call my sister a bitch back?” Andy snapped.

 

“Three reasons,” Jamey said and started counting them off. “One; cuz she _ain’t_ though I bet you call her one every damn day, two; if I did, you’d just go run off and tattle like our four year old cousin does and three, I’m nowhere near as dumb as you are and know that’s a stupid comeback.”

 

Andy turned bright red. “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t even be here!”

 

“You’re tellin’ us,” Nettie said, rolling her eyes. “We wanted to go with our Tam cousins but Daddy said-”

 

“I didn’t mean that,” Andy said, snidely. “I mean you and your stupid brother shouldn’t even _exist_.

 

This was new. Jamey and Nettie shared a surprised look. 

 

“Back in the day,” Andy began, “my ma was your pa’s girl. But she didn’t want him any cuz he’s a fink and she chose my pa instead.” He smiled meanly. “Your pa doesn’t even really love your ma. She’s just a replacement.”

 

Jamey frowned. Aunt Cora was pretty and everything, all blonde and blue-eyed but she wasn’t very bright. He couldn’t imagine Pop with the likes of her. But he had to admit that Ma sort of acted strange around Aunt Cora so maybe there was just a bit of truth to Andy’s story? Not that Pop didn’t love Ma, that was a pile of _go se_ right there but maybe he and Aunt Cora…

 

“Daddy loves Mommy more than anything in the ‘verse!” Nettie shouted.

 

“More than you?” Andy asked, raising his eyebrows. “Well, since he don’t love your ma at _all_ then he must really not have any love for you t-”

 

Before Andy could finish his sentence and before Jamey could even blink, Nettie socked Andy right in the mouth. They all gaped at each other in surprised silence before Nettie and Andy burst into tears simultaneously and took off in different directions.

 

“Nettie!” Jamey ran after his little sister, leaving his cousin to take care of himself. He was eleven, only a year younger than Jamey. He could deal with himself, hypothetically. If he wasn’t a total mama’s boy, that is.

 

“Leave me alone!” Nettie shouted after her shoulder. “Gramma’s gonna whoop me and I want my cries out first!”

 

Jamey slowed down and watched Nettie duck through the trees. She was right; Gramma didn’t hold with fighting and she had a strict punishment for it when it did happen.

 

So he turned and went back to the house, something niggling at his mind. He couldn’t think what it was and just let it slide, figuring it was just his dread over all the trouble that was gonna come later.

~*~

“Nettie normally doesn’t hit,” Ma was saying, looking troubled. “Are you sure you did nothing at all?”

 

“My Andy doesn’t lie!” Aunt Cora exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Andy’s shoulders. The little slug sniveled and held his ice pack a little tighter to his mouth.

 

Pop scowled. “My ass he doesn’t.”

 

Uncle Mattie looked doubtful himself. “Andrew, what happened out there?”

 

“I told Jamey and Nettie that I wanted to play horseshoes too and they wouldn’t let me. When I said that it wasn’t fair for ‘em to gang up on me, Nettie punched me.”

 

“Bullsh-”

 

“Jayne!” Ma put a hand on Pop’s arm, silencing him. “Andy, Nettie is a very sweet girl, she would never hurt anyone on purpose.”

 

“River, hon, I know you think you know your daughter best,” Aunt Cora said, and Jamey cringed at her condescending tone, “but children act different around their own than they do their parents.”

 

Jamey chose that instant to walk in the door. “So how about you listen to what I got t’ say about Andy?”

 

Everyone jumped in surprise and to Jamey’s grim satisfaction, he saw Andy starting to look a little nervous.

 

“Well, someone tell us what happened,” Gramma Cobb snapped. “I got a bleeding grandson and a granddaughter that done run off.”

 

Jamey cleared his throat uncomfortably. He knew that this wasn’t tattling but it felt really close. He looked around and caught Pop’s eye, saw that he understood Jamey’s problem, and that gave him a bit more courage.

 

“Andy was spoutin’ off about Pop not really lovin’ Ma. We knew that that was go- uh, not true so it didn’t bother us much. Until he said that Pop didn’t love me ‘n Nettie at all. That upset Nettie somethin’ fierce and she ran off into--”

 

The little worry he had suddenly grew. She’d run off into the woods. The woods on the side of the house that led to the swamp. The swamp where somebody disappeared every year, sometimes a child, sometimes a drunk, or sometimes a hunting dog that got caught up in the chase.

 

“Oh god!” Jamey exclaimed, startling everyone in the room, and tore out the door.

~*~

“NETTIE!” Jamey tromped along, mucking up his boots and pants but not really caring. “NETTIE!!”

 

It was starting to get dark. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken off like he did. Maybe he should’ve grabbed a flashlight. Or gee, I don’t know, told Pop what was going on?!

 

Cursing his foolishness, Jamey knew he couldn’t stop now. He was too far in and he couldn’t just leave his baby sister, no matter what a little idiot she was for running off in here. Of course, he hadn’t been too bright himself. They’d been gone for two years but they’d both managed to forget that this stretch of woods was forbidden to them.

 

God damn Andy.

 

“Nettie!!” Jamey lost his footing and fell into the nasty water, getting some in his mouth. He started gagging it out and scrambled back to his feet. Which way had he been walking? Which way was further in and which way led him out?

 

Great. If he ever found Nettie, he’d at least have company when they both died out in the woods. They’d be like Hansel and Gretel, without the breadcrumbs. Or the gingerbread house. Or the wicked stepmother.

 

Okay, so they wouldn’t be like Hansel and Gretel at all.

 

Grumbling, Jamey continued on his way, once in awhile calling out to Nettie. It had been so long, he’d stopped waiting for a response so it took him a few minutes to realize someone was faintly calling back to him. He stopped.

 

“Nettie?”

 

“I’M OVER HERE!”

 

Jamey veered off to the right and crashed through the bushes before finding his little sister huddled in a frightened heap on one of the muddy islands.

 

“Well, come on, stupid,” Jamey said, exasperated.

 

Nettie’s face was dirty except for the spots where her tears had washed her face clean. “I tried to find my way out but I couldn’t.”

 

“Well, that’s cuz you don’t got the sense of a dishcloth. Now come on so we can go.” Jamey held out a hand, irritated with her.

 

“Do you know the way out?” Nettie asked suspiciously as she waded through the water to get to him, making a face all the while.

 

“’Course,” he bluffed.

~*~

“I don’t think you really know the way out,” Nettie said flatly about twenty minutes later.

 

“Sure I do. It’s just this way.”

 

“Jamey, we’re going in circles!”

 

“How the hell do you know?!”

 

“Because that rock over there looks like a witch and we passed it twice now!” Nearby, an owl hooted and she jumped and grabbed Jamey’s hand. “Please get us out of here!”

 

Jamey scowled. “Well, it ain’t easy. It’s all dark and stuff.”

 

“We’re gonna die.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“We’re gonna die and the crocs are gonna eat us!”

 

“No they won’t.”

 

“What makes you so sure?”

 

“Because crocs don’t live in this swamp. If anything’s gonna eat us, it’s the alligators.”

 

“Oh, that makes me feel _so_ much better!”

 

They crabbed at each other a little longer before they heard, “Jamey? Nettie?”

 

“Pop?”

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Follow my voice!” Pop called. “When I get my hands on you two, I’m gonna twist your heads off your necks! Do you know how much you had us worried? Gramma called the lawman, that’s how worried we all were! Wait ‘til I get my hands on you!”

 

Jamey smiled weakly at Nettie. “Maybe we should stay and take our chances with the gators.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

But once they were out of the swamp, Pop swept them up into his arms and didn’t let them go for hours. Of course, that didn’t let up the steady stream of threats he issued but as long as he wasn’t gonna carry any of ‘em out, that was fine with Jamey.

~*~

In the end, everyone believed Jamey and Nettie’s story, even Aunt Cora. Andy had to cut firewood for three weeks, his most hated chore, and he had to buy Jamey and Nettie candy with his allowance.

 

Nettie didn’t get punished for fighting. Everyone involved figured that wandering around in a swamp for four hours was punishment enough.

 

Jamey was treated like a hero for the rest of the visit, which never really sat right with him. The way he saw it, his little sister was his responsibility and he hadn’t had a choice but to follow her into that swamp. Still, it felt pretty nice to have Nettie grabbing extra rolls at supper time and putting them on his plate, smiling at him like he was Captain Galaxy or someone.

 

May as well enjoy it while it lasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Good Day Sunshine" is by The Beatles.


	6. Momentary Thing

Jamey was fifteen years old, going on sixteen and he’d never been kissed. Well, not by anyone who wasn’t family. He’d always had his heart set on Lady Washburne being his first kiss but getting time alone with her was impossible. And his cousin David liked her, too.

 

So when Lady had gotten an invitation to attend her friend’s co-ed birthday party, he’d agreed with a great deal of excitement. The party was on the planet Lady and her siblings had grown up on, Wash’s home world. Lady had kept in touch with this friend since they’d all made the move to Haven, and the girl’s sixteenth birthday party was going to be huge. The girl had said it would be all right for Lady to bring Jamey and David along for the ride.

 

Now that excitement was gone. Jamey wasn’t used to large groups like this and he had an easier time relating to adults rather than people his own age. He was the tallest person in the room and stuck out like a sore thumb. And no one was talking to him.

 

So he sat slouched at one of the picnic tables, drinking his third cup of punch. He thought longingly of _Serenity’s_ wiring and the theory he was working on to improve the electricity by a whole tenth of a percent.

 

“This seat taken?”

 

Jamey looked up in surprise. A rather plain looking girl with frizzy brown hair dropped down onto the bench beside him without waiting for an answer.

 

“I’m Ali,” she said. “You’re Lady’s friend, right?”

 

“Yeah.” Jamey looked to where some of the kids were dancing and saw David spinning Lady around, the two laughing fit to beat the band. He scowled into his cup and hunched his shoulders, hoping Ali would go away.

 

The girl didn’t catch the hint. “You gonna tell me your name or do I have to guess?” Again, before he could respond, she asked, “Ricky?”

 

“No.”

 

“Mike?”

 

“No.”

 

“Adam?”

 

“No!” Jamey was sick of this game. “It’s Jamey.”

 

Ali beamed at him. “I was just about to say that!”

 

“Right.” Jamey looked into his cup and saw that he still had a lot of punch left, so he couldn’t use getting a refill as an excuse to leave.

 

“You see that girl over there, Jamey? The blonde one with the all the boys around her?”

 

Jamey looked and spotted her just off the dance floor. He didn’t really care for blondes and didn’t quite understand the fixation other men had with them. “What about her?”

 

“She’s my sister. I hate her.” Jamey was startled by Ali’s casual tone. “Is the boy dancing with Lady your brother?”

 

“My cousin.”

 

“Since he stole your girl, do you hate him? I don’t blame you if you do,” she said, eagerly.

 

“No, I don’t _hate_ ‘im! He’s my friend! She’s not even my- aw, forget it.” Jamey stood up, not even bothering to look for a polite excuse to leave. But before he could take his first step, Ali grabbed his shirt tail.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking embarrassed. “It’s just that I _really_ hate parties and I never know what to say. So I end up sayin’ the wrong thing.”

 

Jamey relaxed and dropped into his seat. “You should try sayin’ nothin’ at all.”

 

“Yeah. Mom says that ain’t in my nature, though. She says I’d yak and yak until judgement day if I didn’t have to eat and sleep occasionally.” Ali rolled her eyes with a self-deprecating smile on her face. “So where y'all from?”

 

“Haven.”

 

“Never heard of it.”

 

“It was a little mining settlement. Our friend Shepherd Book lived there and we stayed with him when we weren’t out in the black.”

 

“Wow.” Ali smiled, dreamily. “That sounds so exciting.”

 

“Actually, it’s pretty boring,” Jamey said with a shrug. “Cap gets jobs and there’s not much chance for sight-seeing since we usually hafta leave in a hurry.”

 

Ali frowned. “Why?”

 

Jamey started to laugh. “You got an hour?”

~*~

The birthday girl clapped her hands together, interrupting Jamey and Ali’s conversation. “Okay, everybody, gather ‘round! We’re gonna play Spin the Bottle!”

 

“Spin the Bottle?” Jamey gave Ali a puzzled look. She grinned and tugged him over to where the other guests were gathering around in a seated circle.

 

“You never played before?”

 

“No.”

 

“You’ve at least heard of it, right?”

 

“Huh uh.”

 

Ali’s grin turned more wicked. “Then you’re in for a surprise, Jamey.”

 

The birthday girl tossed her hair. “Okay, since it’s my birthday, I get to decide who spins first. And I say Lady starts since she’s been gone so long and we missed her, right?”

 

The guests cheered and Lady accepted the bottle that was handed to her. She looked at it, puzzled.

 

“Set it on the floor and spin it, Lady,” the birthday girl said impatiently.

 

Lady set it down in the middle of the circle and spun it, then sat back on her heels. “Now what?”

 

“Wait and see who it points to.”

 

The bottle slowed down and stopped, pointing at David. “Is it my turn to spin it?” he asked. He looked over at Jamey and they exchanged a look that said _This is the stupidest game ever invented_.

 

“Yes, after Lady kisses you,” the birthday girl said.

 

“ _What_?” Jamey, David, and Lady cried.

 

“Go on,” some kid said. “I want my turn.”

 

“Me too!”

 

Blushing, Lady and David got up and met in the middle of the circle. Jamey looked away while the others hooted and cat called. He only looked up when David was back in his place, spinning the bottle, face flushed. The bottle landed on Ali’s sister.

 

The game went on and Jamey sort of tuned out, trying not to think about David and Lady kissing. It made a lump form in his throat and his chest sting.

 

Then he looked up in time to see Ali spin the bottle. Wait. Ali got kissed? He scowled. This game should be outlawed. He glared at the streamers hanging from the pavilion and wished again that he’d just stayed at home.

 

“Um, Jamey?”

 

He looked up to find the whole party staring at him. Ali was looking at him expectantly.

 

“What?” He looked down at the floor.

 

The bottle was pointing at him.

 

“Oh,” he said stupidly.

 

Everyone giggled and Jamey stood up, hunching his shoulders. He shuffled over to the middle of the circle and was amazed by how short Ali was. And how kinda pretty she was up close; she had light brown freckles sprinkled across her nose and cheeks.

 

Jamey bent his knees to accommodate her shorter height just as she lifted up onto her tiptoes and their mouths smashed so hard their teeth clicked together audibly. There was more giggling but Jamey didn’t notice.

 

Her mouth felt all soft and warm and she smelled like oranges.

 

She pulled away first and Jamey slowly blinked his eyes open.

 

“Your turn,” Ali said, softly. She smiled at him and sat back down in her spot.

 

Jamey knelt down on the ground and eagerly spun the bottle. This was the best damn game ever.

 

The bottle landed on Ali again.

 

“Oooooh,” the party go-ers said, some of them elbowing each other.

 

“Now you have to use tongues,” the birthday girl squealed.

 

Jamey swallowed and stood up again to meet Ali in the circle. Her face was bright pink.

 

“I’ve never tongue kissed before,” she whispered. “I’ll prolly be bad.”

 

“I haven’t either,” Jamey admitted. “It’s okay.”

 

He gripped her waist and lifted her up onto her tiptoes, lowering his head to hers. It was just as nice as last time, though this time they cautiously opened their mouths and her tongue lightly brushed over his, tasting like the fruity punch they’d been drinking. Jamey unconsciously tightened his grip on her and shivered a little.

 

Slowly, they parted and Jamey brought a finger up to trace over the freckles on Ali’s left cheek, smiling at the dazed expression on her face.

 

“Your turn,” he whispered.

 

Ali waited a moment before stepping away from him and then spun the bottle.

 

It landed on Jamey again.

 

“That’s it,” the birthday girl snapped irritably. “Game over.”

 

“She’s cheating,” some girl said, angrily. “I want a chance to kiss him!”

 

“Me too!” some other girl piped up.

 

The birthday girl snatched up the bottle. “Well tough, game over. I wanna open my presents now.”

 

Jamey and Ali missed all of this. They were too busy staring at each other.

~*~

“So how’d the party go?” Pop asked once they were back on the ship.

 

Jamey grinned and held up a slip of paper. “I met a girl.”

 

Pop slapped him on the back hard enough to knock the breath out of him. “You’re a Cobb man, alright!”

 

He didn’t think he’d ever really contact Ali. The chances of going back to that world were pretty slim and it wouldn’t be fun to be pining for someone he couldn’t be with.

 

But then he looked up in time to see David and Lady walking along, brushing the backs of their hands together and turned to go off to his dorm.

 

_Do enough of that as it is_ , he thought, crumbling Ali’s information up in a little ball.


	7. Edge of the Ocean

Jamey choked and weakly patted at Pop’s hand.

 

“What?” Pop looked up from tying his son’s tie. “Oh! Sorry.” He loosened the knot and Jamey breathed easier. “Sorry ‘bout that, I’m not too used t’ these things.”

 

“Maybe Ma should take care of it,” Jamey suggested cautiously.

 

“Naw, I told ya I’d show ya how t’ do this and I’m gonna do it.” He frowned and stood back to survey his work. “That don’t look right. Shit, it’s been forever ‘n a day since I last wore one of these things.”

 

“I can figure it out,” Jamey said, picking at the multiple knots Pop had made. “I’ll just-”

 

“Jamey.” Pop took a deep breath. “There’s somethin’ that I-”

 

“I’m not goin’ ta college, Pop.”

 

Pop made a frustrated noise. “The hell not? You’re the smartest damn person I know, aside from yer Ma and maybe little Nova. You could be anything ya wanted and yer throwin’ yerself away by stayin' here.”

 

“No, I’m not.” Jamey finally had the tie unknotted and started doing it up right the way Ma had taught him last week. “I like workin’ with engines, I told ya that. And Kaylee told me she could use some help in the engine room ‘n you and the others aren’t gettin’ any younger so you need muscle on hand during jobs. I’m needed _here_ not at some school with my head in a book.”

 

“Gorramn it, Jamey!”

 

Jamey dropped the ends of his tie and grabbed Pop’s knee. He winced and buckled over.

 

“You see that?” Jamey snapped. “What the hell are we gonna do if you’re on the job and your knee acts up? You’ll get yourself killed and Cap and Zoe and Ma! _I can’t lose any of you._ ”

 

Pop rubbed at his knee. “Okay,” he said quietly. “I get it.”

 

Jamey placed a hand on Pop’s shoulder and softened his tone. “You’ve done such a good job protectin’ me that I wanna return the favor.”

 

“I don’t need protectin’!”

 

“So let me practice until you do need it.”

 

Pop looked into Jamey’s eyes for a long moment then sighed. “Hell, you know I can’t say no to ya.”

 

Jamey grinned.

~*~

“James Simon Cobb!” Uncle Simon announced. The crew cheered as Jamey walked up the little stage steps Pop had built and accepted his diploma. “Congratulations,” Uncle Simon said. “I’m very proud of you, James.”

 

“Thanks.” Jamey hugged his uncle tightly then held up his diploma with a big grin on his face so Aunt Kaylee could snap a picture. He looked to his Ma and Pop in the seats and grinned wider at how proud they looked.

 

His grin faltered when he saw Nettie in tears.

 

“Lady Alleyne Washburne!”

 

Jamey realized he was standing there gawking at his little sister and clomped off the stage to make room for the next graduate. He slid into the seat next to his sister. “Hey, Nettie…”

 

She got up out of her chair and ran from the room.

 

During the celebration that night, she stayed there.

~*~

It’d been three weeks and Nettie still wasn’t talking to him. Jamey felt horrible and couldn’t figure out what he’d done wrong. Pop had threatened her to start acting her age but Ma had called him off, saying that all would be revealed in time.

 

Now the younger kids were having their final projects: They were to give a speech based on an essay they had written. The essay’s topic was personal heroes. The rest of the crew was out on the catwalk, watching this take place, all curious as to what the kids had written.

 

Anna took the stage first, nearly bursting with excitement. “My name is Anna Tam and my hero is Captain Malcolm Reynolds!”

 

Jamey glanced over at Cap and watched him grin.

 

“Malcolm Reynolds is really old but nice,” Anna said. “He’s the captain of a Firefly called Serenity. A long time ago he fought in the war for Independence which he lost and it was sad and stuff but he gets to fight every U-Day and wins so I guess that’s square.”

 

Everyone held in their laughter.

 

“Malcolm Reynolds wears suspenders a lot and he’s the only person I know who does and has it look good. Usually men use belts to hold their pants up, like my Daddy. When I grow up, I want to be like Malcolm Reynolds. Only a girl and maybe my coat will be black and not brown because black matches with more things than brown does. The End.”

 

There was applause and light laughter as Anna took her seat.

 

Uncle Simon made a mark in his grade book, careful to keep his smile neutral. “Okay, who’s next?”

 

Nova raised her hand and to no one’s surprise delivered a perfect speech about her father being her hero. Kaylee was sniffling at the end and Jamey handed her the bandana he kept in his back pocket.

 

Next came Vee, who said her hero was her mother. She faltered once when mentioning her mother’s single parent status but other than that, she did well.

 

Then there was David and Jamey grinned in expectation.

 

“My hero is my mother, Kaylee Tam,” David said without any trace of his usual jocular manner. “Ever since I first picked up a crayon, she’s been convinced that I’m going to be a famous artist. When I grew up far away from her she always sent me paints and brushes with little notes telling me to ‘make her a masterpiece.’ My father encouraged me and I don’t mean any disrespect to him at all,” David looked at Simon worriedly, “but Mom made me believe I was great already, that it was only a matter of time before everyone else saw it, too. For that, I’m always going to be grateful.”

 

Jamey whispered to Aunt Kaylee that she could keep the bandana. She nodded gratefully, gulping back tears.

 

“Um, all right,” Uncle Simon looked moved as well and cleared his throat. “Ben, would you like to go next?”

 

For this, everyone was prepared and had tissues and hankies at the ready as Ben gave a speech about Wash. His voice broke in the middle and he had to compose himself for a moment before he could continue on. By the end, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Jamey wiped at his eyes and took a deep breath. Not a day went by that they all didn’t think of their former, beloved pilot.

 

Uncle Simon looked like this was wearing on him and he seemed to be thinking he should’ve chosen another topic for the assignment. “All right, well. Nettie, it looks like you’re the last but certainly not the least.”

 

Surprisingly, Nettie got up and went to the front, blushing and looking nervous. She glanced down at her note cards and did her best to still her shaking hands. Why was she acting like this over a speech she was no doubt going to make about Pop?

 

“My hero is someone who’s always been there for me,” Nettie started. “And in a little while, he won’t be any more.” She cleared her throat. “My hero is my brother, James Cobb.”

 

Everyone looked surprised and turned to Jamey.

 

Nettie continued. “When I was little, Daddy wasn’t around as much as we would’ve liked him to be. Mom got sick from time to time and it used to scare me. When she’d have an episode and Daddy was away, it was Jamey who could get her to calm down and then he’d come find me because,” she laughed, embarrassed, “I would run off and hide. He’d find me and explain that Mom couldn’t help being the way she was and that he and I had to work together to get through it, otherwise we’d be sunk. 

 

“Every single scrape or bit of trouble I’ve ever gotten myself into, it’s been Jamey who saves me or helps me through it. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have gotten into the school I’ve been dreaming of going to since I was six and saw my first opera.

 

“Jamey is the smartest person I know. He’s smart in every single way there is. When he said he wouldn’t be going to college, I figured it was just a weird boy phase and that it would pass. I always dreamed of going to school and having Jamey somewhere nearby to make sure that I was okay, that I was safe.” Nettie’s face crumpled. “But he isn’t going to be. And I d-don’t know what I’m going to do without him…”

 

“Mei mei.” Jamey started down the steps, his chest aching. “Nettie…”

 

Nettie made as if to dash off to her room, but he caught her up in his arms and hugged her.

 

“Shhhh, mei mei,” he whispered in her ear. “Shhhh.”

 

“I hate you,” she sobbed, trying to strike out at him. “Let me go!”

 

“Nothin’ doin’,” he said, but pulled back slightly to look into her face. Her eyes were red-rimmed and full of anger and fear. “Why are you so mad at me?”

 

“You’ve always been there!” Nettie shouted. “On land, on Haven, here! You’re the only thing I could ever really count on! And now you’re _abandoning me_!”

 

Jamey shook his head. “You’re the one leaving, Nettie.”

 

“But you can come with!”

 

“No, I can’t.”

 

“Why not?!”

 

“Look at you!” Jamey boomed, making her flinch. “You need to learn how to stand on your own without me there to solve all your problems for ya! You’re fourteen years old and you’re bright and talented and beautiful! You’re more than capable of being independent. It’s time to let me go.”

 

“But I don’t know how.” She looked so forlorn that if it didn’t break his heart, he would’ve laughed. He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

 

“You’ll learn. You’re a quick study, Nettie. I know you can do it.”

 

She looked doubtful but nodded. “If you think I can…”

 

“Then it’s true,” Jamey finished.

 

Nettie rolled her eyes. “Big brother knows best?”

 

“Damn straight,” Jamey agreed, pulling her back into his arms. This time, she hugged him back extra tight.

 

“Doc!” Pop called out from the catwalk. “Does she get an A or what?!”


	8. Dirty Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The explicit chapter I warned about! Skip if reading sex makes you uncomfortable.

It was David’s eighteenth birthday and Jamey wanted to kill him. A part of him felt guilty for feeling that way, because David had no idea what it was that was getting Jamey’s goat.

 

Just that morning, he’d overheard a conversation between Lady and Vee.

 

_“So, are you still going to give David that_ special present _you were talking about?”_

 

_“Vee, shhhh! It’s not_ that _funny!”_

 

_“Sure it is. You’re gonna de-virginify David and he doesn’t even know it yet!”_

 

Long ago when David and Lady had officially paired up, Jamey had tried to let his infatuation with her go. He thought he’d been getting better but apparently the thought of them sexing was too much for his brainpan to handle.

 

Usually he went to the engine room to take his mind off things or he’d goof around with Nettie. Aunt Kaylee didn’t need him in the engine room today and Nettie was gone, so he had to go a more drastic route to distract himself. A little place his father had only mentioned once when he had been particularly drunk one New Years.

~*~

Emmaline stared glumly into her glass of apple juice and wished herself far, far away. Back home, maybe. Sure, she’d have to hear a lot about how she shouldn’t have left in the first place but all the “I told you so’s” in the ‘verse would be worth not living on this god-forsaken moon anymore.

 

If only she’d kept a better eye on her bag. That’s what she got for growing up on a planet where you didn’t have to lock your front door at night; it robbed you of a healthy suspicious attitude towards folk that she'd had to develop slowly on her own.

 

“Hey there, sugar puff.” A man came up to her side, leering. “Don’t think I’ve seen ya here before.”

 

“She’s new,” Marguerite said, patting Emmaline on the head with false affection. Emmaline wanted to recoil but stopped herself just in time. She’d hate to meet the back of Marguerite’s many-ringed hand again. “Care to take a ride, Cord?”

 

Cord looked Emmaline over. “Her titties are kinda small. Think I’ll stick with Shoshanna. Maybe another time though, sugar puff.” He gave her a lecherous wink and wandered off, bellowing Shoshanna’s name.

 

Emmaline sighed in relief. She hadn’t had to service many men since coming here, just one bald man who had called her Bernice the whole time and a dirty drifter who hadn’t been able to keep it up for very long. 

 

Marguerite wrapped an arm around her shoulders and unseen by the others, pinched the top of Emmaline’s breast, making her yelp.

 

“You’d best be attractin’ more johns, little girl,” Marguerite hissed. “I got no problem with throwin’ ya out on your ass if you can’t earn your keep.”

 

“I’m trying,” Emmaline said, testily. “Unless you wanna pay for my breast implants, I’m not going to-” 

 

Marguerite gasped, cutting Emmaline off. “That can’t be…is that? No, he'd be around sixty by now!” She let Emmaline go so abruptly, she nearly fell off the stool she was sitting on. The madam hurried off and Emmaline picked up her drink once more, sipping at it. It looked like alcohol but without the horrible effect; she’d been drunk her first job with the Bernice man and it hadn’t ended well.

 

“Well, hel _lo_ there, sweet cheeks, what can Marguerite do for you today?” Marguerite asked, practically cooing. Curiously, Emmaline turned to see who she was talking to.

 

An uncertain-looking young man awkwardly shook the hand Marguerite had held out to be kissed. The madam pursed her lips and Emmaline giggled into her glass.

 

“I was looking for a… I mean, I just… I wanted to… um.” The man looked about ready to bolt but Marguerite snaked her arm through his.

 

“I know _just_ what you need,” Maguerite said, patting him gently. “You need one of my girls. And I have the finest girls in town, you just ask anybody. That there’s Jenna, and Maxine, and…” She rattled off the names of each girl lounging around the room.

 

The young man was frowning, looking like he was ready to yank his arm away and run from the room. She almost felt bad for him and wondered why someone as good-looking as him was in a place like this.

 

“Um.” The man shook Marguerite’s arm off. “Maybe I can just look around?”

 

Marguerite looked put out but said, “Of course. Take your time, honey.”

 

Emmaline turned back to her drink, no longer interested. Maybe she should break into the other girls’ savings, use that cash to get the hell off this crappy moon and find one where chefs were needed. And this time around, she’d glue her bag to her hand if she needed to.

 

“What’s that you’re drinking?”

 

Surprised, Emmaline looked up and found the young man looming over her. She put on a big, fake smile. “Lager,” she chirped.

 

Before she knew what he was doing, he captured the hand holding her drink and brought the glass up to his nose for a sniff.

 

“Smells like apple juice,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

 

Emmaline blushed. “Look, I’ll do what you want, just don’t tell Marguerite that I was-”

 

The man’s brown eyes widened and he waved his hands at her. “No, no, don’t worry about it, I was only teasing you.” He looked around the room and then back at her. “You don’t really belong in a place like this, do ya?

 

“What do you mean?” Emmaline folded her arms and scooted away when he took the stool next to her at the wet bar.

 

“There’s something about ya. Maybe something in the eyes.” He gazed at her for a long moment and Emmaline could feel her face get a little hotter. 

 

“Really, now?” she asked, not knowing what else to say.

 

“Uh huh.” He grinned and ducked his head. “My name’s James.”

 

“Emmaline.”

 

“That’s pretty. You go by Emma or…?”

 

“No, just Emmaline.”

 

“Ah. I see.”

 

They sat there in awkward silence for a moment.

 

“Do- do you want to go upstairs, James?” Emmaline asked.

 

“Do you?” he blurted and then winced. “I didn’t mean... I’m sorry, I just-”

 

“This is your first time in a whorehouse, huh?” Emmaline was charmed by his blush. She so seldom saw that in this line of work; it was nice to know that there were men out there who didn’t feel as if every woman in the ‘verse owed him.

 

“It is,” he admitted. “I never thought that I’d ever come to a place like this.”

 

“Neither did I,” she said, softly.

 

He looked up from where he’d been tracing his finger over the wooden counter and they stared at each other as if trying to figure one another out.

 

“Well!” Marguerite came up behind them, dropping her hands onto their shoulders. “Looks like you’ve made your choice!”

~*~

Jamey took the hand Emmaline offered him and followed her into the room, shutting the door behind them. She released him for a moment to light the lantern next to the bed, which gave the room a kind of orangey light.

 

She flicked a piece of her pale blonde hair out of her eye and sat down on the bed. “Are you gonna join me?”

 

“Oh!” Jamey realized he’d been staring and hurried over to the bed where he dropped down so hard the tinier Emmaline bounced up into the air. He was absolutely mortified until she started giggling. Then he was able to laugh a little. 

 

“I think we’re off to a good start,” Emmaline said, playfully. She reached out a hand and traced a finger over his jacket lapel. “You can lose this if you’re plannin’ on staying a while.”

 

Jamey shrugged off the jacket and pulled off his boots and socks for good measure. Then he looked at her expectantly.

 

She furrowed her brow. “What?”

 

“What what?”

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she laughed.

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like I’m supposed to break this down for you step by step.” She slapped her forehead. “You’ve never been to this kind of place before, that’s why. Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Jamey said, glad that that was the conclusion she’d drawn.

 

Smiling, Emmaline inched closer to him, her head nearing his. He ducked his head to meet her lips but she ended up going lower and started to unbutton his shirt.

 

“Don’t need this,” she said softly.

 

“Sure don’t,” Jamey agreed and automatically felt ridiculous.

 

She didn’t laugh at him but peeled the fabric off his shoulders, exposing his chest to her view. She sighed, softly.

 

“What?” he asked, a little alarmed.

 

“Nothing,” she said, and ran her fingers between his pecs. “It’s just been so long since I’ve been with anyone young and in good shape.” She leaned forward and kissed where her fingers had been. “It’s nice.”

 

“Thank you,” he whispered, his throat feeling dry.

 

She pulled back and smiled. “My turn.”

 

He stared at her.

 

“My shirt, James.”

 

“Oh! Right.” Her shirt was a flimsy little tank top and he had no trouble pulling it off as she raised her arms to assist him. He watched her blonde hair fall back around her shoulders and thought he’d never seen anything prettier. Which puzzled him since blonde women usually didn’t do it for him.

 

She tapped the white strapless bra she was wearing. “This too.”

 

He swallowed. Nettie wore bras and he’d done her laundry lots of times but none of hers looked anything like this. He knew that the fastener was in the back, though. Wiping his sweaty hands on his thighs, he reached around Emmaline’s tiny frame to get to the snap.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked.

 

Jamey quickly pulled away. “I was trying t-”

 

She covered his hands with her much smaller ones and brought them to her front. “It opens here.”

 

“Oh.” Blushing, Jamey found the clasp easily enough and only fumbled a second before getting it open. It fell behind her and he gaped at the first pair of real breasts he’d ever seen.

 

“I know they’re kind of small,” Emmaline said, sounding almost apologetic. 

 

Jamey shook his head. “No. They’re perfect.” He cautiously reached out to touch but paused to look up into her eyes for permission. When she smiled and nodded, he cupped one of her breasts and watched in fascination as her little pink nipple hardened. Experimentally, he brushed his thumb over it.

 

Emmaline made a tiny whimpering noise and Jamey pulled away. “Are you all right?”

 

She nodded and took his hand. “I liked it, James.” She tilted her head to the side. “Do you really go by James? Or are you a Jim or a Jimmy?”

 

“I’m actually a Jamey,” he said.

 

“Jamey.” She appeared to consider it for a second, then nodded again. “It suits you. Jamey.”

 

He smiled at her and she smiled back, her dark blue eyes crinkling at the corners. She looked so beautiful that he impulsively leaned forward and kissed her.

~*~

He was so sweetly eager and good at this that she hated to stop him. But she knew she had to. Emmaline pressed a hand to his chest and pushed him back.

 

“You can’t do that, Jamey.”

 

“Why not?” He looked so adorable in his confusion that for a second, she wondered “why not” herself before remembering the reason.

 

“It’s against the rules.”

 

He frowned. “I didn’t know there were rules.”

 

“There aren’t many but you have to follow them. No kissing is near the top of the list, just under ‘Always pay in cash.’”

 

“Okay, I won’t kiss you again.” 

 

“You can kiss me!” Emmaline said, cupping the back of his head. “Just not on the mouth. See?” She pressed a hot kiss where his jaw met his neck then blew in his ear. “That’s allowed.”

 

He shivered and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap. Jamey bent his head and captured one of her nipples between his lips, giving it a soft suck, making Emmaline gasp and grab at his shoulders.

 

“That allowed?” he asked, roughly.

 

“Uh huh,” she gasped.

 

“Good.” He went right back to what he was doing and Emmaline sank bonelessly against him. She’d had other men do this, yes, but with Jamey it felt… new. Like this was her first time. 

 

He pulled away, panting, and stared at her with dilated eyes. “Maybe we should lay down?”

 

“Mmm.” Emmaline slumped onto the bed and cracked one eye open to watch him stare at her. “What do you think comes next, Jamey?”

 

He swallowed and then his shaking hands reached out for her skirt, gently tugging it down her hips.

 

“Smart boy.”

~*~

Jamey dropped the skirt to the floor and hooked his fingers in the waistband of her pink underwear. He’d felt confident a few minutes ago and now he was nervous all over again.

 

“Go on,” Emmaline gently encouraged him.

 

Taking a deep breath, Jamey peeled the underwear off and gaped at what was revealed to him.

 

She was a natural blonde.

 

Emmaline smiled. “Now you.”

 

“But I’m not wearing a skirt,” Jamey joked, feebly.

 

“Do you need help?” She smiled wider.

 

“No, I got it.” He stood up and unbuckled his belt, letting his pants puddle around his feet. He started to blush and thanked whatever deity ruled the ‘verse that he had decided to wear the blue plaid boxers and not the yellow duck ones Nettie had gotten him as a joke for his birthday last year. It took a moment to gather up his courage and lower his boxers, too.

 

He froze when Emmaline gasped. “What?”

 

“Nothing,” she said, quickly.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jamey asked, concerned. “Are you all right?”

 

“Oh, I’m more than all right,” Emmaline blurted, then bit her lip. “You’re just not quite what I was expecting.”

 

Jamey looked down at his erection worriedly. “Is it…?”

 

“In a good way, Jamey.”

 

“Oh. Oh!” He knew he was grinning foolishly and tried to get it under control. “That’s a relief.”

 

Emmaline giggled and held her arms open to him. “I think we’re ready here, Jamey. Get a condom out of the bedside drawer.”

 

“Condom. Right.” Jamey opened the drawer and boggled at all the choices before going with a simple clear condom, forgoing the glow in the dark colors and the ones that promised to be different flavors. He carefully tore it open and then slid it on, remembering how Pop had told him this was done. Now he was grateful for that sex discussion though it had been humiliating at the time.

 

He lowered himself down into Emmaline’s waiting arms and felt the fear he’d been pushing aside suddenly rear up and make him freeze.

 

“Jamey? You okay?”

 

For a moment, he couldn’t speak. After a few tries, he managed, “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… this is my first time.”

 

“You’ve already told me that. This isn’t going to be that much different from your other-”

 

“No, I mean this is my first _time_ time.”

 

Emmaline looked up at him in confusion before realization dawned on her. “Your first…?”

 

He nodded, fear shifting over to make room for humiliation.

 

“Oh, Jamey. Are you sure you want to do this? Do you want it to be like this?”

 

If she’d asked him that when he’d first walked in the door, he would’ve said no. But looking into her compassionate eyes, not judging him but feeling concern for him, he knew there was no other place he’d rather be.

 

“I’m sure.”

~*~

Emmaline had never been someone’s first time before so she gently coached Jamey on how to start. She’d gasped when he’d first pushed into her and had to quickly reassure him that he hadn’t hurt her, in fact, the opposite was the truth.

 

She held him as he got used to the sensation and kissed his temple as he shook.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

“No, don’t be.” She nuzzled a kiss onto his ear and stroked his muscled back. “It’s all right. Do you think you can move now?”

 

“I can try,” Jamey said, raggedly. He pulled out and then pushed back in experimentally and moaned.

 

“Just like that.” Emmaline cupped his shoulder blades and wrapped her legs around his waist. “Just like that, Jamey.”

 

For his first time, he had good instincts. He kept a slow, steady pace and after awhile an unfamiliar feeling started stirring in her lower body.

 

She’d heard about this but had never experienced it before.

 

“Oh god,” she moaned. “Jamey!”

 

“Is this okay?” he whispered, his tone gruff. 

 

“Faster!”

 

He complied happily and it wasn’t long before she was almost there, it would take just the slightest push to get her to…

 

“You’re so perfect,” Jamey breathed, reverently. “Emmy!”

 

Her scream as she flew apart made Marguerite jump in surprise from all the way downstairs.

~*~

Jamey decided he liked the feel of her draped across his chest as they both caught their breath. So this was sex. It was every bit as amazing as he’d been led to believe yet nowhere near what he’d been expecting.

 

“How did you end up here?” Jamey asked, softly.

 

Emmaline purred and nuzzled his chest. “I left home to become a chef. Ever since I was little, I’ve been cooking and I’m damn good at it, too. But on the transport to Boros, someone stole my bag. It had everything in it, pictures from home, my clothes, all the money I had. The captain was angry and when he found out I couldn’t pay, he just dumped me here.

 

“At first, I worked in the diner on Main Street but it wasn’t as a chef. I was a dishwasher and it was hard, dirty work. When Marguerite came in one day and saw me on my break, she offered me a job. It sounded like the work was easier and I’d be paid a lot more. So here I am. Not a day goes by I don’t wish I’d kept a better eye on my bag.” She laughed, humorlessly. “A lesson to the kiddies at home…”

 

Jamey rubbed her shoulder. “I could get you a cook job if you want it.”

 

She sat up and looked at him in surprise. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. On my ship. Cap’s always mentioned getting a cook, so…”

 

The warmth fled from Emmaline’s expression. “On your ship.”

 

“Yeah, it’d be great. We have a spare bunk you could sleep in and you’d have free run of the- What’s the matter?” Jamey watched in confusion as Emmaline climbed from the bed and started pulling her clothes on.

 

“I think your hour’s almost up,” she said, shortly.

 

“Emmaline? Why are you-”

 

She spun on him and hissed, “I’m not going to be your personal whore, okay?!”

 

“WHAT?!” Jamey’s jaw dropped. “I said ‘cook’ not ‘whore.’”

 

She laughed and it had a hurt, brittle sound to it that made Jamey’s heart ache. “Yeah. You _say_ cook. But then you’ll tell the crew my hard luck story and everyone will think they can get a ride from me whenever they need it because, hey she’s a professional! Forget it.”

 

“No one’s going to think that,” Jamey said, firmly. “Besides, we have a Companion on board.”

 

“Now I _know_ you’re lying.”

 

“It’s the truth!” Jamey crossed his heart as she gave him a disbelieving look. “No one has to know what you did for a living. That’s your story to tell and your decision who to tell it to.”

 

“Right,” she said, flatly, shaking out her skirt.

 

“You don’t have to make a decision now,” Jamey said and accepted his boxer shorts she tossed at him. “But if you change your mind, I’m on the Firefly transport ship _Serenity_. We’re taking off tomorrow about ten or so. I’ll tell our captain, Malcolm Reynolds that I found a cook who’s interested in work, and if you show up, great.” He grabbed her arm, stilling her movements. “You don’t have to stay in this life, Emmaline.”

 

She looked conflicted but then her features hardened and she shook him off. “Yeah, you can save me from all this.”

 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jamey said, sadly.

 

“Finish getting dressed.” Emmaline slammed the door behind her.

~*~

“So where’s this cook you mentioned?” Cap looked around as if expecting her to fall from the sky and shake his hand.

 

“She might’ve had a hard time getting off work,” Jamey said, without much hope. It was 9:45 and everyone was getting antsy to leave.

 

“I don’t have time to wait around for mythical cooks, Jamey,” Cap said. “We have a full cargo hold and payment waitin’ for us on-”

 

“WAIT!”

 

Jamey and Cap spun around to see a tiny blonde girl holding a duffel bag running their way. Jamey grinned at her.

 

“Are you Captain Reynolds?” she asked Cap, not looking at Jamey. He hid his disappointment as best as he could.

 

“I am,” Cap said. “Are you our new cook?”

 

She blinked in surprise. “I’m already hired?”

 

“Yeah, Jamey vouched for you. Said you were a better cook then his Gramma Cobb and that’s sayin’ somethin’. I’m expectin’ wonders from you, girl. And your name was Emma?”

 

“Emmaline.”

 

“Emmaline. Jamey here’ll show you to one of the spare rooms and then he’ll take you to the kitchen. I’ve gotta get this boat up in the air, if you’ll excuse me.”

 

When Cap was gone, Jamey hit the button to close the doors. “So, uh, you made it.”

 

“I didn’t do it for you,” she snapped, adjusting the bag on her shoulder. “I couldn’t put up with Marguerite’s crap anymore and this was the first job I knew of.”

 

Jamey nodded. “Of course. Your bunk’s this way.”

 

With his back to her, he smiled giddily to have her there.


	9. Weird, Friendless Kid

“And again, thank you for coming to family day,” the elderly headmaster said, smiling warmly. “Now I’ll set you free to roam the grounds with your student. Enjoy your afternoon.”

 

Jamey stretched and looked around the crowded room for Nettie. She’d been in the choir singing the welcome song at the beginning of the boring speechifying, not sitting with them like the other students. 

 

“There she is!” Ma said, pointing.

 

Nettie was making her way through the crush, waving at them excitedly. “Hi!” Predictably, Pop swooped on her first, placing a loud kiss on her forehead.

 

“Ewww, _Daddy_.” Nettie rubbed at her forehead but giggled. She accepted a hug from Ma and then turned to Jamey.

 

Something wasn’t right about her. Something was really, really off. He hugged her and whispered “You okay?” in her ear.

 

She nodded and pulled away. “The banquet’s in the other room, let’s go claim our spots before it gets crowded.”

 

Pop didn’t move as she tugged his hand. “Well, hold on, dontcha wanna introduce us to your friends?”

 

“My friends?” she looked nervous for a second but quickly covered with a bright smile. “I can see them any old time; I just want to spend my time with you while I can. Come on, it gets crowded.”

 

“Serenity!” a voice in the crowd called. A boy who looked a few years older than Nettie made his way over to their group. “Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you sounded great up there.”

 

Interestingly, Nettie blushed. “I was singing in a group, Julian, how’d you know which voice was mine?”

 

The boy grinned. “You kinda stand out.” He and Nettie stared at each other for a long moment before Pop cleared his throat loudly. 

 

“Oh!” Nettie shook herself. “Mom, Daddy, this is Julian Stewart. Julian, these are my parents Jayne and River Cobb. And my brother, James.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Julian wisely shook Pop’s hand first, maintaining eye contact and not allowing himself to wince as Pop no doubt squeezed his hand hard enough to crush a few bones. “Serenity talks about you a lot.”

 

“Funny, she’s never mentioned you a’tall,” Pop growled. Ma gave him one of her warning looks but he still loomed over Julian. “What’s a fancy Core boy yer age doin’ sniffin’ around my little girl?”

 

“Daddy!” Nettie looked horrified and turned to Jamey for help. He didn’t really know what to do since he kind of agreed with Pop. 

 

“Jules!” A careworn man clapped a hand on Julian’s shoulder, snapping the tension in half. “These some o’ yer friends?” The man reached out and grabbed Pop’s hand. “Hiya, ‘m Jerry Stewart nice ta meetcha. Who’s this little lady here? Must be the Serenity girl our boy’s been talkin’ ‘bout non-stop all day.”

 

Pop’s jaw had dropped but Ma smoothly took over. “Where do you folks hail from?”

 

“Pomona. Got a nice farm just west of the capital. Since Jules here went away ta school, I’ve had ta hire on extra help. No one’s quite as good a worker as my boy.” The man squeezed Julian’s shoulder, practically beaming with pride. “And no one quite plays the fiddle like ‘im, neither. I was surprised there was a school for him ta go to and luckily his grades was good enough to get ‘im a scholarship. Otherwise, I don’t think we could afford this place.”

 

Jamey, Nettie, and Ma all smirked at Pop.

 

To his credit, Pop looked a little sheepish. “You folks wanna set by us at this big fancy dinner?”

~*~

After dinner, Pop still had some work to do on the ship so he and Ma left early. Jamey stayed behind and lounged on Nettie’s bed as she babbled about some of the classes she was taking.

 

“Nettie,” Jamey interrupted. “Somethin’s bothering ya. What is it?”

 

“There’s nothing wrong,” she said. “Everything is…” Her eyes filled with tears. “Horrible!”

~*~

_Nettie excitedly tossed her bags onto one of the beds, looking around the room. This was gonna be like rooming with Nova on Haven; borrowing each other’s stuff, staying up late some nights giggling, and having someone help her with homework._

_She giggled and dashed to the bathroom to have a look around. A real bathroom that didn’t fold into the wall! A shower!_

_She heard her room door open and left the bathroom to investigate. A pretty red-headed girl was pulling her luggage along on a little cart._

_“Hi,” Nettie said, giving the girl a wave. “I’m Serenity Cobb.”_

_“How thrilling,” the girl muttered. She looked around the room distastefully. “I thought this room was going to be larger.”_

_Nettie frowned and looked around too. “It seems pretty big to me.”_

_The girl sneered. “Of course it would. You’re the one who grew up on a transport ship, right?”_

_“Um, yes.” Nettie sat down on her bed. “I didn’t know people knew about-”_

_“They don’t.” The girl flipped her hair and opened one of the closets, sighing loudly over the size. “My father found out about all of my roommates before hand. He tried to have me moved but everywhere else was full.” She gave Nettie a look over her shoulder. “Maybe you can find someone to switch with you.”_

_Nettie narrowed her eyes. “I’m not the one with the problem so I think I’ll stay right here.”_

_The girl snorted. “Yes, stand your ground. How_ Independent _of you.”_

_Nettie wasn’t sure how to respond to that so didn’t say anything, just unzipped one of her bags, conscious of the fact that they didn’t match each other like the girl’s bags did. She kept reminding herself that she was in the Core now and they had a different outlook on the war than Cap and the others and the border worlds they visited so often._

_“Of course, it’s not so Independent that you’re getting a free ride into this school.” The girl’s face was dark as she glared at Nettie._

_“Free ride?” Nettie paused in unpacking one of the dresses Inara had bought her. “I got in on a scholarship. I have to maintain a certain grade point average to stay here, I wouldn’t exactly call that a free ride.”_

_The girl stomped over to Nettie and for one second it looked like she was going to shove her. Well, bring it. Daddy taught her some moves that she would_ love _to unleash on this bitch._

_“My best friend couldn’t get into this school because they ran out of room.” The girl leaned closer. “Because people like you were taking up space.”_

_“Oh, some spoiled Core brat didn’t get into her first school of choice,” Nettie snarled. “It’s not as if her Daddy couldn’t buy her into some other school.”_

_The girl’s scowl deepened. “I hope you aren’t suggesting my father bought my way in here.”_

_Nettie widened her eyes innocently. “I wouldn’t dream of it! I’m sure you’re the most talented princess in all the kingdom!”_

_“Watch your ass, Serenity,” the girl said._

_“You don’t scare me,” Nettie said with a laugh. “I’ve faced vigilantes, outlaws, government operatives and Reavers. You don’t even make the list.”_

_This appeared to throw the girl off and Nettie started putting her clothes away, smiling smugly to herself._

_“You’re a liar,” the girl hissed._

_“Look,” Nettie said, suddenly tired of it all. This wasn’t nearly as fun as arguing with Vee. She glanced at the nameplate on the girl’s luggage. “Winifred. How’s about you stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours? Then the year can go on smooth and shiny.”_

_“Fine,” Winifred snapped._

_But things didn’t go smooth and shiny. Things so rarely do, after all. It turned out that Winifred was something of a queen bee and soon she had a large group of minions who did her bidding. And her bidding was to make Nettie’s life miserable._

_When Nettie went to sleep at night, she’d often find that someone had short-sheeted her bed. If she stood up in class to answer a question, she’d sit back down to find that someone had put a tack on her chair. At lunch, she’d sit down at a table and everyone sitting there would get up and leave. Once, someone had dumped garbage in her locker and wrote “Cobb’s a slob” on the door._

_She stayed as strong as she could and enjoyed escaping for the weekend to Lady’s dance school where she wastreated pretty much the way she was treated at home. Sometimes those visits made going back all the worse, though._

_Once, she was in the bathroom when she heard her roommates talking about some of the less pretty girls in school._

_“Jenna’s pretty bad,” Winifred commented. “But you know who’s the worst?”_

_“Who?” Molly Chang asked, excitedly._

_“Serenity Cobb.”_

_“Oh, I KNOW!” They all burst into mean laughter._

_“That nose of hers! It’s so… ugh! I mean, isn’t her uncle supposed to be a doctor? Couldn’t he fix it?”_

_“You’d think.”_

_Nettie frowned at her reflection. What was wrong with her nose? The nostrils were kind of flared but… The more she looked, the less she liked what she saw. From that point forward, she usually covered her face with her hair._

_That was the way she met Julian._

_She’d taken the long way around to class, wanting to avoid getting her books shoved out of her hands, and was walking through the corridor that belonged to the older students. Hunched over with her hair in her face, she couldn’t see where she was going in the unfamiliar area and collided with something vaguely boy-shaped. She hit the ground hard._

_“Oh my god! Are you alright?!”_

_Nettie sat up, feeling a little dazed. She stared stupidly up at a boy with honey brown hair. He was attractive in a not very classically handsome kind of way, his face was too long and his chin a little too weak. But he had warm brown eyes and a sweet crooked smile._

_“Yeah, I- I’m sorry. I couldn’t see where I was…” She started to gather up her books, letting her hair fall in her face again to hide her pink cheeks._

_“I can help you with that.” The boy reached out and tucked her hair behind her ears. “There. Now everyone can see how pretty you are.” He seemed surprised by her skeptical look. “Don’t you know you’re pretty?”_

_She shrugged and started to shuffle away._

_“Hey, where you going?” In a few short strides, he caught up with her._

_“Class,” she said, and started to push her hair in her face again, but he caught her wrist._

_“Stop it,” he said, gently. “It looks nice, and besides you might walk into someone else. Do you mind if I walk you to class? This is my free period so you’re not keeping me from anything.”_

_“Do what you want,” she muttered._

_“So what’s your name?”_

_“Serenity. Serenity Cobb.”_

_“That’s pretty. My name’s Julian Stewart.”_

_“Hi.”_

_“Hi.”_

_They walked along in silence._

_“Are you always this quiet?”_

_“I never used to be,” Nettie admitted, then bit her lip._

_Julian looked at her sharply. “Is someone giving you a hard time?”_

_“Take someone and multiply them by two hundred,” Nettie said, bitterly._

_Julian swore under his breath. “That’s terrible. You could always stick by me if you wanted.”_

_“I don’t need anyone to protect me!” Nettie glared at him. “Just leave me alone!”_

_“I’m sorry!” Julian caught her arm before she could dash off. “I didn’t mean it like… I mean, we can be friends.”_

_“Friends?”_

_Julian smiled sadly at her wistful tone and nodded. “Yeah. Friends. Does that sound okay to you?”_

_“I guess.”_

_“Me and my friends sit at the north end of the cafeteria. I’ll save you a spot at chow time, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

_They stopped outside Nettie’s classroom and stood there a moment uncertainly._

_“Don’t let them get you down, Serenity,” Julian blurted. “You’re too good to let people like them get the best of you.”_

_She found herself smiling for the first time since she’d said goodbye to her parents on orientation day. “I’ll try to remember that.”_

_He chucked her under the chin. “You do that. ‘Bye, Serenity.”_

_“’Bye.”_

_After that, things got much, much worse. It turned out that Winifred had been harboring a crush on Julian Stewart and Nettie was poaching. She was safe with Julian and his group of friends, who quickly adopted her into their circle and made her one of them. But they were older and couldn’t be with her in classes or in her dorm room._

_When she’d found that the girls had drawn mustaches on her picture of Mom and Daddy, she knew she couldn’t take any more._

~*~

“I don’t know what to do,” Nettie wept.

 

Jamey wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back, almost hoping her roommates would walk in just then. He didn’t care that they were little girls; he’d kill them.

 

“Shhh, mei mei,” Jamey said, softly. “It’s okay. I’ll tell Ma and Pop and we can get you-”

 

“NO!” Nettie sat up, rubbing her eyes. “I worked too hard for this. I’m not leaving.”

 

“But Nettie,” Jamey argued, “you’re putting yourself through hell! Nothing’s worth all this!”

 

“Yes it is,” Nettie said, all determination.

 

They stared at each other in surprise.

 

“I’m not going to let them ruin this for me,” Nettie said, more to herself than to Jamey. “I have every right to be here. I’m entitled to an education without harassment.”

 

Jamey smiled at her, proudly. She’d come a long way since leaving the ship. He rubbed her back and dropped his chin on to the top of her head. “Damn straight you are.”

 

She nodded. “I know what to do now.”

 

“Let me know how it all turns out?” Jamey asked hopefully.

 

Nettie giggled. “You’ll be the first.”

~*~

A few days later, Jamey and Kaylee were putting the finishing touches on the wiring system Jamey had been dreaming of for years. He was whistling happily to himself and glancing every now and then at the picture of Emmaline in a bathing suit Kaylee had taken for him the last time they’d been at some swimming hole, when Ben popped his head into the engine room.

 

“Hey, Jamey. Wave for you.”

 

He stared down at the wiring and thought of Nettie at the school, conflicted over which to see to.

 

Kaylee nudged his shoulder. “Go on. I’ll wait for ya.”

 

“Thanks, Aunt Kaylee.” He kissed the top of her head and dashed to the cockpit where he watched Nettie’s image practically wiggling in excitement.

 

“Guess what happened?” she gushed.

~*~

_Nettie clutched the picture in her hand and approached Winifred’s table. Their laughter died when they saw her, and some of the girls looked nervous. Nettie didn’t look as worn down as they were accustomed to seeing._

_“Look at this,” Nettie said, casually, dropping the picture onto the table top._

_“What about it?” Winifred sneered._

_“I think that’s your artistry on my parents’ picture.” Nettie shrugged and laughed. “Drawing a mustache over my dad’s mustache was hilarious but I can assure you my mother doesn’t have any facial hair. So the sooner you get me a new picture, the better, princess.”_

_“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Winifred said, folding her arms._

_“Hm. Yeah, I figured it would come to this.” Nettie reached behind her back and pulled out a little pink book. “Now, what did you write on September sixteenth?”_

_Winifred turned pale. “How did you get my diary?”_

_Nettie clucked her tongue. “Honestly, Fred, who did you think you were fooling hiding it under your mattress? That’s the first place everyone looks.” She turned to the appropriate page and cleared her throat._

_“Stop that!” Winifred exclaimed, making a grab for the book. “Give it back!”_

_“Pay for developing a new picture and I will,” Nettie snapped._

_Winifred growled in frustration. “Why’s it so rutting important to you? It’s just a picture!”_

_“A picture of_ my parents _. They mean everything to me and you desecrated that. Don’t you love your parents with everything you have?” Nettie gave Winifred a disbelieving look. “They’re the two people in the ‘verse guaranteed to love you no matter what and you don’t understand why it’s heartless to destroy their image? You’re not really that much of a monster, are you?”_

_For a moment, Winifred stared at Nettie, mouth opened wide. Then she surprised everyone in the room by bursting into tears and running out, slamming into the double doors so hard they slapped back against the walls._

_Nettie hesitated for a moment before following Winifred back to the room. The door was locked and Nettie had to use her key._

_Winifred was spread out on her bed, sobbing her eyes out. She looked up to see who came in and groaned. “Oh my god, go away!”_

_“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to--”_

_“Oh, I’m so sure,” Winifred choked. “I’ve been a bitch to you all year and you managed to snap me in three minutes. You must be loving this.”_

_“N- okay, just a tiny bit but… I just wanted you to pay for the damage you caused.”_

_“Oh, I’m paying for it,” Winifred laugh-sobbed. “You never so much as sniffled at all the stuff we’ve been doing to you all year. You rub in the fact that my parents don’t give a shit about whether I live or die and I cry like a baby.” She punched her pillow._

_Nettie’s jaw dropped. “Your parents don’t love you?!”_

_“Why do you think I’m here?” Winifred retorted. “I play the flute well enough but you were right your first day; my dad bought my way in here. They just wanted me out of the house and to have something to brag about to their friends.” She angrily wiped at her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”_

_Nettie sat down on the bed next to Winifred and they awkwardly didn’t look at each other. “I can’t imagine my parents not loving me.”_

_“Me neither,” Winifred said. Off of Nettie’s confused look, she added, “I mean, YOUR parents not loving you. I saw you with them on orientation day. Actually, I saw your whole family. How do you fit them all on that tiny ship?”_

_“We manage,” Nettie said, smiling. “We had two more but they’re not with us anymore.”_

_“That’s awful. I’m sorry.” Winifred sniffled and Nettie handed her a tissue from the bedside table. “My best friend Sasha applied here. She’s the only person in the ‘verse who cares about me.”_

_“I’m sorry she didn’t get in,” Nettie said, feeling guilty despite herself._

_Winifred shook her head with a laugh. “It wasn’t a big surprise; she couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. It was just easier to blame you, I guess.”_

_Nettie nodded. “You know, you’re really making it hard for me to hate you.”_

_“Yeah, well.” Winifred started to shred the tissue, not looking up. “It’s hard to hate someone so pathetic, huh?”_

_“I don’t think you’re pathetic. Just angry. Really, really angry.”_

_Winifred laughed. “Yeah. I guess I am.”_

_“You should use some of that when you play your flute,” Nettie said. “You’re right that you play it pretty well now but you’re missing something. Some emotion. You can channel that into your music and I bet you’d be fantastic.”_

_“Yeah?” Winifred raised her eyebrows._

_“Yeah.” Nettie nodded._

_They were each quiet for a moment before Winifred tentatively said, “I’ll pay for a new picture.”_

_“That’s all I wanted.”_

_“And I’ll call off the hounds, too.”_

_“Okay, I also wanted that but I wasn’t going to push my luck.”_

_Winifred giggled and then shyly looked up at Nettie. “So… do you think… I mean, could we be friends?”_

_Nettie frowned. “I’m not really sure I want to be friends with you right now.”_

_Winifred looked stung but nodded. “Yeah, I don’t blame you.”_

_“I mean, I could try, but I think I’d be really resentful of you and I just… If we’re going to be friends, it should develop slowly. Let me get used to the idea, Winifred.”_

_“Okay.” Winifred nodded again and smoothed a hand over her hair. “Could I possibly get my diary back?”_

_Nettie laughed and stood up. “Lift up your mattress.”_

_Frowning in confusion, Winifred did so and gasped when she found her little pink book there. “But what-?”_

_Nettie flipped through the book she was holding, revealing blank pages. “I went out and bought the same kind. I wasn’t really going to read your diary; I’m not quite THAT mean.”_

_“Not like me,” Winifred said, laughing humorlessly._

_Nettie didn’t refute this or agree with it, just tossed the empty book to the girl and turned to leave. “You should find a new hiding place, Winifred.”_

_“Serenity?”_

_“What?” She paused at the door._

_“Um. Everyone calls me Winnie. So, you should too.”_

_Nettie nodded. “Okay. I’ll do that.”_

~*~

“I’m glad everything worked out, mei mei.”

 

“And you know the best part?!” Nettie asked, excitedly.

 

“What?”

 

“I didn’t need you to save me.”

 

Jamey smiled and shrugged. “Guess you didn’t. I’m kinda gonna miss saving you, Nettie.”

 

“Yeah. Well, you just need to grow up.” She winked at him. “Dinner’s in ten and I have to go get ready. Tell Mom and Daddy hi for me, okay?”

 

“Sure thing. Take care, Nettie.”

 

“You too, Jamey. I love you.”

 

“Love you.”

 

Jamey switched the screen off and sat back, contemplating his new role of non-hero. It would take some getting used to, but it was satisfying to see his little sister so self-reliant.

 

_Better go be self reliant myself_ , Jamey thought and went whistling back to the engine room.


	10. You Brought Me Up

“Thought she was an independent woman, now,” Jamey grumbled on the way to the bridge. He’d been so caught up in his work in the engine room that getting pulled away was almost physically painful. “What is it?” he snapped at his sister’s image on the cortex.

 

Nettie looked at him solemnly. “They’ve found us.”

~*~

“I wanna know why the hell we’re doin’ this,” Pop snapped. “You don’t owe these people a gorramn thing.”

 

Ma slipped her arm through his. “It’s something I must do, Jayne.”

 

“Then how come Simon ain't here?" 

 

“We’ve each had our own experiences,” Ma said, quietly.

 

That shut Pop up and they all fidgeted as Ma rang the doorbell. 

 

“Jamey?” 

 

He stopped tugging on his tie and looked into his little sister’s big eyes. “Yeah?”

 

“I don’t wanna do this, either.”

 

“Yeah, well, join the club.”

 

The door swung open and all four froze as the bright lights poured over them.

 

“River,” Gabriel Tam said, holding out his arms.

~*~

“Come in,” Regan Tam said, ushering them inside. She touched Pop’s arm but blanched when he jerked away from her as if she’d disgusted him.

 

“I love what you’ve done with the garden,” Ma murmured to cover Pop’s rudeness. Not that Jamey blamed him much. He’d ducked away from Mrs. Tam himself, opting to hand his jacket to the waiting maid on his own.

 

“Do you? I never thought you liked geraniums much, River.”

 

“She doesn’t,” Nettie said, flatly. “She was trying to be polite.”

 

There was an awkward silence and Jamey did his best not to look at Pop, who was no doubt hiding his own smirk.

 

“The dining room is this way,” Mrs. Tam said and then laughed nervously. “Of course you know that, you haven’t forgotten…” She stopped. “You _do_ remember, right? They didn’t…?”

 

“I remember,” Ma said, nodding.

 

The group silently walked into the dining room and sat down at the ridiculously long table. They could fit their whole crew here and still have room for half of Nettie’s schoolmates, too.

 

“So, James,” Mr. Tam said, trying for false cheer that made even Mrs. Tam wince. “I understand you’re an engineer?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jamey said. “It’s good, challenging work.”

 

“Ah, there’s your Tam blood.” Mr. Tam sat back, smiling. “Simon and River were brilliant students and loved to challenge themselves.”

 

Pop’s fists clenched and Ma quickly covered one of them with her hand until he relaxed.

 

“I’ve heard that,” Jamey said with a nod.

 

“Doesn’t Serenity look just like River at her age?” Mrs. Tam said, suddenly. “I took one look at her at the Ashbys’ dinner party and thought ‘That _can’t_ be River, can it?’ I was discouraged when she told me her last name but when she got to telling me about her mother, I knew.” Mrs. Tam’s eyes got watery. “I knew.” She ducked her head, embarrassed by her sentiment.

 

Jamey glanced over at Nettie in time to catch her mime a retch. 

 

“While you, young man, look just like your father,” Mr. Tam added.

 

“I’m well aware, sir,” Jamey said, trying not to let disdain creep into his tone. Judging by the look on Mr. Tam’s face, it hadn’t worked as well as he would have hoped.

 

“How long have you been friends with the Ashby girl, Serenity?” Mrs. Tam asked. “I always liked that girl. Winifred is it?”

 

“Not very long,” Nettie said, syrupy sweet. “When I first met her, she turned half the school against me.”

 

Mrs. Tam glanced at Mr. Tam as if to say _Your turn_. Before he could open his mouth, Pop growled, “When’s that food gonna be ready?”

 

“I’ll go and see what’s taking Virginia so long with the salad,” Mrs. Tam said, standing up gladly. 

 

Mr. Tam also stood, but Jamey and Pop stayed sitting.

 

Once Mrs. Tam escaped to the kitchen, Mr. Tam sat back down and cleared his throat. “So, River. What’s Simon been doing with himself all these years? Still practicing medicine?”

 

“Yes,” River said. “He hopes that his oldest daughter will follow in his footsteps.”

 

Mr. Tam’s expression softened. “Simon’s had children?”

 

“Yes. Three of them.”

 

“That’s magnificent.” Mr. Tam thought a moment. “Did they know you were-”

 

“Yes,” Nettie said. “They don’t want anything to do with you.”

 

Mr. Tam looked stung. “Well, I’m glad that you two chose to visit us."

 

Pop looked ready to burst but Jamey beat him to it.

 

“Sir, understand that if we felt we had the choice, we wouldn’t be here sitting at your table tonight.” Jamey kept his tone tight and controlled. “But our mother wanted us to give you a chance, even though the thought of you abandoning her makes us feel sick. None of us wanted her to face you alone. That’s the only reason we’re here. Don’t expect us to call you Grandmother and Grandfather or send you Christmas cards or wave you once a month. I can assure you that’s never going to happen.”

 

Mrs. Tam returned just then, leading in a few servers who started placing bowls of salad in front of the guests. She noted her husband’s flushed face with some confusion but pasted on a smile.

 

“Well, here it is, Jayne dear, I hope it’s to your liking. You don’t mind if I call you Jayne, do you?”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Pop said.

 

Ma sighed and folded her napkin. “I think this is enough.” She stood up, looking disappointed. “We can leave now.”

 

Jamey and Nettie looked at each other guiltily. “Ma, we’re sorry..."

 

“No. You two have behaved well, all things considered.” She turned to her parents. “I should’ve known you’d try to turn this into a dinner party. That’s not what I came here for and you both know that. Simon knew this would happen, that’s why he didn’t come. I’ll thank you not to contact me again and to please stay away from my children, nieces, and nephew.” 

 

“River-” Mrs. Tam started.

 

“You let me know a long time ago where I stood in this family. So as you can see, I went and made my own.” She reached out and cupped Nettie’s chin in one hand, placed the other on Jamey’s shoulder. “I’d do anything for them, which is more than I can say you ever did.”

 

Mr. Tam slammed his hand down on the table. “River, it was the _government_! If we had done anything, they would’ve _destroyed_ us. Did you honestly expect-”

 

“No. That’s why I wrote to Simon.” She smiled sadly. “I know you loved me, that you still do. But I also know that your love is conditional and I’m not going to subject these children to that. They deserve better. _I_ deserved better.”

 

The silence was so complete they could hear the clock ticking out in the hall.

 

“Get your coats,” Ma said.

 

They stood up and nodded to Mr. and Mrs. Tam. Jamey had walked into the house hating these selfish people but now all he could manage was pity. He never realized until now how lucky they’d been to be raised on their Firefly ship, to have so much support and love in one place. These people could never understand that and would no doubt die never having it. He glanced at Nettie and saw his own complicated emotions reflected on her face.

 

The Cobbs let themselves out and no one said a word until they got to the gate.

 

“So what are we gonna do for dinner now?” Pop asked.

 

They all gave him stunned looks before bursting into simultaneous laughter.

~*~

The laughing family was too busy holding on to each other as they made their way down the sidewalk, arguing over which restaurant to eat at to notice the sad, elderly couple watching them from behind white lace curtains. 


	11. Just What I Needed

Ever since Emmaline had joined the crew, she’d been careful to never be alone with Jamey. That wasn’t too difficult to do in their tiny ship with so many people on board, but it didn’t stop Jamey from trying.

 

He’d sit at the mess table, fiddling with wires and peeking under his lashes at her as she bustled around the kitchen. She’d cut her hair since joining the crew and her bangs would hang in her eyes and she had this cute way of blowing them out of the way that made him grin. Then she’d catch him grinning and glare at him until he either went back to work or left the room entirely.

 

What was with him, wanting women he could never have? Emmaline was beautiful and sweet and funny and hated his guts.

 

Guess he was never going to have somebody.

~*~

“’Nara’s got an announcement to make,” Cap said that night at dinner. “’Nara.”

 

She looked at him for a moment and then cleared her throat. “I’m leaving next week.”

 

“Why?” Kaylee exclaimed, anguished.

 

“But you _can’t_ leave!” Anna looked close to tears. “You’re Inara!”

 

Inara touched Anna’s cheek. “I’ve been offered the House Priestess position. I’d be foolish not to take it.”

 

“I thought you liked it here,” Anna said, petulantly.

 

“I do, sweetie.” Inara’s tone was gentle. “But I think I’ve outgrown my place here.” She looked at Cap after that and then turned back to Anna and Kaylee. “You can always visit me.”

 

As everyone gathered around Inara to protest or cry or say goodbye, Jamey noticed Cap slip from the room. He was just going to let her go? It was obvious to everyone on board that Cap loved Inara and she loved him back. So why couldn’t they-

 

Jamey looked over everyone’s heads at Emmaline. He caught her staring at him and she quickly gave him a nasty look to cover it up.

 

Interesting.

~*~

“I don’t wanna be like him.”

 

Emmaline looked up from chopping carrots. “Excuse me?”

 

“Cap.” Jamey walked towards her slowly, with purpose. “I didn’t realize it, but I’ve been acting like him my whole damn life. See something I want but either I don’t make the move or make it too damn late. I don’t want it to happen like that again.”

 

“What do you mean?” she asked, nervously.

 

Jamey stopped in front of her and didn’t speak until her eyes were on his. “I’m in love with you. I have been ever since I went up to you at that bar and you told me you were drinking lager.”

 

She turned pink. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

 

“I do. And I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love somebody.”

 

Emmaline turned back to her chopping. “You only want me because you can’t have Lady.”

 

Jamey shook his head. “No. She was always a dream, something I knew I was never going to have. You’re _real_ and I love every single damn thing about you.”

 

“Especially that I was a whore, right?” she snapped.

 

“I still would’ve tried to get you on this ship, even if you’d been that dishwasher on Main Street when I met you.” Jamey reached out to touch her but she recoiled. “Emmaline?”

 

“I’m too old for you.”

 

“You’re three years older than me and I’m an adult. What’s the problem?”

 

She looked away. “The problem is that I’m not interested.”

 

“Look me in the face and say that.”

 

With difficulty, she raised her eyes to his but didn’t say anything.

 

“You don’t get many chances at happiness out here,” Jamey whispered. “Why are you fighting this?”

 

“Because you didn’t want me the way I was. You wanted to make me better.” She blinked and some of her tears spilled.

 

Jamey stared at her. “What?!”

 

“You got me this job here-”

 

“Because you weren’t happy! I couldn’t stand seeing you so miserable, not when I could do something to help you!”

 

She laughed, bitterly. “Big damn hero, huh?”

 

He tried to deny it but laughed, shaking his head. “You sound like Nettie.” But he sobered and took hold of her hand. “I’m sorry I made you think that. Try to understand that I wasn’t trying to make you feel like you weren’t good enough. I’ve got this… habit of helping whether it’s asked for or not. It may come across heavy-handed sometimes but I honestly don’t mean any harm. I’ve _never_ thought you were inferior. No one could ever think that about you.”

 

“But they did,” she said softly.

 

Jamey’s expression darkened. “You’re not there anymore. You’re here now and you’ve got all of us to tell you everyday how important you are.”

 

“Right. I make a meal or two.”

 

“You know it’s more than that.”

 

Emmaline bit her lip, knowing he was right. Since coming on board, Anna had taken a shine to her and followed her around, chattering. She was good at getting a smile out of Zoe and the Captain called her “little Emmaline” which took her some time to like. Yeah, she made meals but she had a place here and it was respected and honored by these people. They’d accepted her into their family without any prodding on Jamey’s part. Jamey had gotten her the job, yes, but she’d proven herself all on her own.

 

Jamey started to draw away from her. “I thought you had the right to know how I feel. I doubt it was a big revelation,” he smiled, sheepishly. “But it’s best to have this sort of thing out in the open. At least I think it is. Secret-keeping on this ship never seems to end well.”

 

“Jamey, wait.” Emmaline took a deep breath. “I-”

 

He looked so expectant and anxious and so hopeful that she fumbled. “I’m not ready for this.”

 

His face fell, but he nodded. “Whenever you’re ready, you come find me, okay? You know where I am.”

 

He barely made it out into the hall before she was in his arms and kissing him on the mouth for the first and certainly not the last time.

 

“I love you, too,” she said, shakily. “Do you promise not to go anywhere?”

 

“Sounds like we’re making a bigger promise here,” Jamey said, teasingly. His smile faded when he saw how serious she looked. “Do you want to make a bigger promise?”

 

“You’re not the only one who should’ve spoken up sooner,” Emmaline said, smiling. “But can you do something for me?”

 

“Anything.”

 

“Call me Emmy. Like you did our first time.”

 

He cupped her face in one hand. “I thought you were just Emmaline.”

 

“I was. I kind of want to be Emmy now.”

 

“Emmy and Jamey.”

 

“Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” She giggled when he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.

 

“Ring. I have to get you a ring.”

 

“This is moving so fast.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s been in the works for what, two years now?”

 

“Well, when you put it that way…”

 

“I think we should announce it during dinner tonight.”

 

“You’re right. It’ll be a nice farewell present for Inara.”

 

Jamey frowned. “I can’t believe she’s really leaving.”

 

“Maybe you should write down your speech and give it to the Captain. It worked wonders with me.”

 

“Ha ha.”

~*~

They had all hugged Inara goodbye and gotten back onto the ship. Kaylee and Anna were in tears and everyone else was just barely holding it together. The Companion had been blinking back tears of her own, but she turned her back on them and walked regally into the temple.

 

Jamey stood next to Cap as they watched her. “Are you really gonna let her go?”

 

“This was her call,” Cap said, firmly.

 

“Oh, come on.”

 

Cap looked at Jamey sharply. “You got somethin’ to say, boy?”

 

“Just that you’re an idiot, sir.”

 

“Yeah. I know it.” Cap pushed the button to close the doors. “I’m too old to change my ways, son. Why don’t you go off someplace and snuggle with your wife-to-be?”

 

“Okay, Cap, if that’s the way you want it. Watching everyone else pair off while you get older and lonelier.”

 

“You wanna check that tone of yours, James. I ain’t your little sister.”

 

“No sir, I believe she has more sense.”

 

Cap looked angry but then laughed. “She does, doesn’t she? Kind of miss having her around.”

 

Jamey frowned. “Cap?”

 

“Snuggling. Get on it. Now. Before I toss both of you on the first moon we find.”

 

Jamey watched Cap go, feeling conflicted as Emmy cuddled into his side. “How did your speech go?”

 

“Looks like you’re the only one who recognizes my genius.”

 

“That’s usually how it goes. Come on, we got some snuggling to do, Captain’s orders.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”


	12. Welcome to Existence

Jayne paced the floor and had a weird feeling. Day-ja view or something. But the weird feeling faded and all that was left was anxiety.

 

“Shouldn’t they be done now?” he growled.

 

“Every woman is different,” River said, patiently. She patted the seat next to her. 

 

He dropped down into the tiny, uncomfortable chair. “Can’t help feelin’ worried. They’re too young.”

 

“They’re older than I was,” she reminded him.

 

Jayne rubbed his face with his hands. “Don’t remind me.”

 

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Kaylee said with her usual cheeriness. She turned to Simon. “But maybe you should go in there and check? I think Emmy would feel better havin’ one of her doctors be someone she knows.”

 

Simon smiled at her. “The doctors know what they’re doing, Kaylee.”

 

“Oh, I know.” She nodded but still looked troubled.

 

The doors slammed open and everyone leapt to their feet. They all sat down again when they saw it was Nettie, dressed in a floor length gown, face covered in stage makeup.

 

“I skipped the encore,” she said, breathlessly. She saw Ben had saved her a seat and took it, dropping her head on his shoulder. “Are we still baby-less?”

 

“Uh huh,” everyone said.

 

“Well, Emmy _is_ havin’ twins, it’s probably gonna take longer,” Mal said.

 

“Wonder how that happened,” Jayne said, sitting back and crossing his arms. “Don’t have any twins in my family.”

 

“It may run on Emmy’s side,” Simon pointed out.

 

Jayne grunted and they waited in anxious silence.

 

Another hour passed and another.

 

Finally, the doors opened and Jamey came in, looking exhausted.

 

“Well?” Jayne asked, anxiously.

 

Jamey grinned. “Babies. Boy and a girl.”

 

Everyone whooped and started hugging each other.

 

“Is Emmy okay?” Kaylee asked.

 

“Emmy’s fine. She’s resting but she told me to tell you she’s lookin’ forward to seeing you all.” Jamey bounced on the balls of his feet, excitedly. “The nurses are gonna put the kids in the nursery in the next few minutes if you wanna see ‘em. I’m headed there myself.”

 

Jamey led the way, accepting pats on the back and shoulder with a brilliant smile.

~*~

Jamey held his little daughter in his arms, staring into her face. She and her brother and Emmy had come home just two days ago and he had yet to grow tired of looking at them, holding them. He liked kissing them on their heads; they had a soft, milky smell.

 

The door slid open and Jamey smiled when he saw it was Pop. “Hi.”

 

“Hey. How’s the littlun doin’?”

 

“She’s sleeping.” Jamey cuddled her close and she heaved a pleased-sounding little sigh.

 

“Nettie always made that sound when I was holdin’ ‘er,” Pop said. He sat down next to Jamey on the bed. “Means she’s gonna love ya the rest of ‘er life, even when ya mess up.” He paused. “You’ll mess up, ya know.”

 

“I know,” Jamey said, wryly. 

 

Pop rubbed his neck. “Look, I don’t got much advice ‘n I think you been gettin’ enough of it the last few days but… just do yer best. That’s all I can say.”

 

“I will.” Jamey nodded and looked down at the baby. “I just hope I can do half the job you did.”

 

“Huh?” Pop blinked in surprise.

 

“Yeah. You’re a tough act to follow, Pop. I hope Ronny and Jayna love me and Emmy the way Nettie and I love you guys.”

 

“They will.” Jayne reached out and tickled the baby under her chin. “I think these are my favorite grandbabies.”

 

“Until Nettie starts havin’ ‘em, right?”

 

Pop scowled. “Don’t even start thinkin’ that.”

 

“Why not? She ‘n Ben are gettin’ married next month, it only stands to reason they’d-”

 

“ _Stoppit_.”

 

Jamey laughed. “Sorry. Guess I should knock off teasin’ ya. ‘M not a kid anymore.”

 

“Nope.” Pop stared at Jamey and Jayna for a minute. “You’re really not.”

 

“You okay, Pop?”

 

He shook himself. “Yeah, ‘m fine. Just came down here to tell ya that Emmy’s ready for this ‘un here and she wants ya t’ put Ronny down.”

 

“Okay.” He started to go but paused at the door. “Pop?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Thanks for the advice.”

 

Pop nodded, once. “Any time.”

 

Not wanting to make a further soppy scene, Jamey continued on up to the mess where his wife and son were waiting for him, cooing at his daughter all the while.

The End


End file.
